The Source for Parents

Friend Me on Facebook Get in My Head Watch Me
Helping Parents Build Relationships and Teach Biblical Values
Weekly Parenting RSS Feed
Before She Says "I Do"
by Dale Reeves

Last June on Father’s Day, I stood at the brink of performing the marriage of our daughter. As the father of two daughters, I was so excited about welcoming another dude into our family. (Shout out to you, Adam!) At that moment I asked myself if I had done everything I needed to do to equip my daughter to be the best she could be as she began a new family.

Looking back at all my years as “Dad” living in a house of estrogen, trying my best to be the best possible father a girl could have, I can’t help but notice three key traits necessary for our little princesses to thrive in the grown-up world.

As my girls were growing up I coached their softball teams. Not only did I want to see them develop self-discipline, learn to win confidently, and lose graciously, I also knew they would need to develop some toughness to survive all this world has to throw at them.

JONATHAN'S BLOG: Diversity of Maturity in Middle School
A few weeks ago I talked with a group of middle school students about sex. As always, it was intriguing to notice the diversity of maturity around the room. I saw a 75 pound 6th grade boy who looked like he was plucked straight off the elementary school playground, sitting next to an 8th grade girl who looked like she was ready to leave for college next week.

How do you address a crowd with this kind of diversity in maturity?

Or for an added twist, add a bunch of high school kids in the mix—considering the many groups who combine middle school and high school. I speak to groups like this frequently, with 6th and 12th graders in the same room. Talk about a spread!

So how do you address groups like this?

Here’s how I introduced my Sex Matters talk to this particular group of middle school students a few weeks ago:

As I talk with you about this subject this morning I realize that each of you have different attitudes about and experience with sex. Some of you when I say “sex,” you think, “Yes! Sex!” Others are like, “Sex? Ewwww!” And still some of you think, “It’s not like I’m going to have sex or anything, but I have heard some things and I definitely have some questions.” My guess is you’re probably in one of those three groups.

That’s the unique situation about this age group. Some of them are really beginning to explore more mature subject matter, while others still embrace toys and innocent video games (there are a few).

I frequently encounter adults who question whether or not we should talk about subjects like sex with middle schoolers. I’ve actually heard parents say, “They’re not even thinking about it yet.” I think that is a misconception; because even the innocent kids in this age group encounter sexually charged content and images regularly.

I’m not alone in this belief. Mark Oestreicher, author of Understanding Your Young Teen, argues middle school is the perfect time to talk with teens about sex. He went as far to say, “It’s pure irresponsibility as a youth worker to avoid this subject.”

Mark knows sixth, seventh, and eighth grade students are all over the road developmentally. Some think about sex often and some barely fathom it. But honest communication is necessary as they hear about it all around them and questions arise. “In general, most middle schoolers need conversations about what sex will be more than they need conversations about what it already is.” (Something I talk about in my recent book, More Than Just The Talk)

So how do you address this diverse age group? More specifically, how can we provide them with truth, without forcing them to wrestle with temptations they haven’t even fathomed yet?
The screen time rule most parents are breaking
Posted on May 5/21/2015, 2015 at 04:47 PM
An endangered species: Christian men worth waiting for
Posted on May 5/20/2015, 2015 at 01:11 PM
Kids reading about and acting out in reckless behaviors
Posted on May 5/20/2015, 2015 at 01:04 PM
Christianity no "declining", only being "clarified"
Posted on May 5/20/2015, 2015 at 08:23 AM
Starbucks turns to Spotify for customers instead of CDs
Posted on May 5/19/2015, 2015 at 01:56 PM
Millennials outnumber xers and boomers in workplace
Posted on May 5/19/2015, 2015 at 01:55 PM
Adding Season 3 Discussions Starting Next Week
It’s difficult for The Walking Dead fans during these breaks between seasons. So we at The Gospel According to the Walking Dead have been filling in back seasons during these breaks. In fact, we’re almost all caught up… save Season

  • More Than Just The Talk
  • Get Your Teenagers Talking
  • Candid Confessions of an Imperfect Parent
  • Should I Smash My Kids Phone
  • Zombie Survival Guide
Ranking Social Media Sites
Which Are Teens' Favorites...
and Why?

David R. Smith

Some teens like to keep up with their friends on Facebook. Some like to shoot short clips for Vine. Others keep it short and simple on Twitter. And many like the idea of the (supposedly) short life cycle offered by Snapchat. But which is the best?

It might depend on who you ask...
© 1999-2014 The Source for Youth Ministries           Site Disclaimer