Parenting Help

“I Don’t Wanna Go”

i-dont-wanna-go

Tips for Parents Whose Kids Want to Skip Church

“Harrison, just doesn’t want to attend church with us,” said a friend about his teenage son. With a grimace on his face he asked, “What should we do?”

That’s a great question…but first let’s talk about what we shouldn’t do.

Making a Difference or Making Matters Worse
Why wouldn’t “Harrison” want to go to church? I wondered. The pastor at his church happens to be a dynamic, godly, theologically profound, talented, and handsome guy. OK, OK. I’m the pastor at this particular church…but rather than taking offense, I assured my good friend that his family wasn’t the only one in America facing this issue. I even told him how much I despised church when I was a teenager…before becoming a disciple of Jesus and then a pastor, myself.

It’s true; for several intriguing and/or difficult reasons, thousands upon thousands of families have a similar conversation amongst themselves each weekend. Unfortunately, many of the parents caught in this back-and-forth choose to adopt one of two possible strategies that are at opposite ends of the spectrum. Some turn to bulldozing (“As long as you’re under my roof…”) while others turn to bribery (“If you’ll go to church with us then you can…”).

These parents want to help their kids make the right choice, but their approach may be unintentionally undermining their efforts. As parents, we all want our kids to develop a life-changing relationship with Jesus, model a God-honoring faith, and lead lives that positively impact those around them.

So, how do we go about that…especially when that same desire seems like a low priority for our kids? Here are a few simple ideas.

Take biblical disobedience off the table.
Over and over again, the Bible calls for our faithful participation in the Body of Christ – for our benefit and the benefit of others! Therefore, we need to do our very best to remove the option of anything less than the standard prescribed by God. No, this isn’t “spiritual semantics” for bullying our kids into church attendance. If our kids said they didn’t want to take showers anymore, you wouldn’t let that be an option. If your spouse said they didn’t want to pay taxes anymore, you wouldn’t let that be an option, either. As the leader of your home, it’s up to you to set the spiritual pace for your family. If we remember that God is going to hold us accountable, then we quickly realize not going to church as a family is not an option for our family. Now that we know what we’re not going to do (bulldoze or bribe), we can start working on constructive plans to help our kids see the tremendous benefits of an active and obedient faith.

Talk about the importance of belonging to a spiritual family.
So much has been written about the positive effects church attendance has on teenagers. When young people faithfully attend church and heed the spiritual instruction it provides, they have so many deep needs met by the fellowship it offers. Lovingly remind them of the importance of belonging to your biological family, and then point out the (many) benefits of belonging to a spiritual family. Ask them where they hope to have their spiritual needs met if not at church. Ask them how they can be a blessing to others if they’re not at church. As you discuss your family’s spiritual discipline of church attendance, be prepared to share a story or two of your own growth and development that sprung from being faithful. If church doesn’t mean much to you, you shouldn’t expect it to mean much to your kids.

Do everything in your power to make church better.
It may well be that your kid is regularly having a terrible experience at church for some reason. Maybe there’s really poor leadership in the youth ministry department. Maybe there is a church bully waiting for him. Maybe she suffered an embarrassment a few weeks back and the awkwardness is still too raw. Do your best to uncover the obstacles keeping your kid from wanting to attend church. When you discover the hurdle(s), you’re better prepared to help your kids overcome them. Maybe you can help make the youth ministry stronger by volunteering in some capacity. Maybe you can help repair a relationship that suffered a setback. At the very least, you can always pray for your kid to supernaturally experience God at the church in which He’s placed your family. Be proactive…and be willing to step up your own level of obedience to help your teenager get where God wants him/her.

As parents, we’re called to raise our kids in Christ…not just in church. But we can’t fully forge our kids’ identity in Christ apart from His Body, either. Model true Christlikeness before your children and that will help them want Jesus and His people even more.

By 93 Comments
Share

David R. Smith

David R. Smith is the author of several books including Christianity... It's Like This and speaks to parents and leaders across the U.S. David is a 15-year youth ministry veteran, now a senior pastor, who specializes in sharing the gospel, and equipping others do the same. David provides free resources to anyone who works with teenagers on his website, DavidRSmith.org David resides with his wife and son in Tampa, Florida.

Recommended To You

new-school-yearsame-two-rules

New School Year…Same Two Rules

five-nights-a-week

Five Nights a Week

parenting-in-a-pandemic

Parenting in a Pandemic

93 Comments

  1. Jeromesic
    March 21, 2025 at 12:54 pm

    alo789 chinh th?c: alo789in – alo789

  2. Jamesjiz
    March 24, 2025 at 12:52 am

    IndiaMedFast.com: india online pharmacy store – IndiaMedFast

  3. Arthurwef
    March 24, 2025 at 4:34 am

    http://mexicanpharminter.com/# mexican drug stores online
    canadianpharmacy com

  4. Georgetom
    March 24, 2025 at 4:46 am

    canadian pharmacy online: most reliable canadian online pharmacies – reputable canadian pharmacy

  5. Jamesjiz
    March 24, 2025 at 5:59 am

    mexican pharmacy online store: buying from online mexican pharmacy – Mexican Pharm International

  6. MonteMap
    March 24, 2025 at 7:23 am

    lowest prescription prices online india online medicine shopping in india lowest prescription prices online india

  7. WillisLutle
    March 24, 2025 at 9:40 am

    https://mexicanpharminter.com/# reliable mexican pharmacies

  8. Arthurwef
    March 24, 2025 at 10:03 am

    https://indiamedfast.shop/# IndiaMedFast
    canadian drug prices

  9. Arthurwef
    March 24, 2025 at 3:38 pm

    http://indiamedfast.com/# online medicine shopping in india
    medication canadian pharmacy

  10. MonteMap
    March 24, 2025 at 4:30 pm

    canadian pharmacy online reviews Certified International Pharmacy Online canada drugs online review

  11. Jamesjiz
    March 24, 2025 at 5:14 pm

    canadian pharmacy meds: Inter Pharm Online – best canadian pharmacy

  12. Georgetom
    March 24, 2025 at 5:48 pm

    cheapest online pharmacy india: order medicines online india – IndiaMedFast

  13. WillisLutle
    March 24, 2025 at 9:38 pm

    https://indiamedfast.com/# online medicine shopping in india

  14. Arthurwef
    March 24, 2025 at 9:41 pm

    http://mexicanpharminter.com/# mexican pharmacy online order
    canadian pharmacy ltd

  15. Jamesjiz
    March 25, 2025 at 12:10 am

    best canadian pharmacy to buy from: legitimate canadian pharmacies online – my canadian pharmacy rx

  16. MonteMap
    March 25, 2025 at 3:32 am

    lowest prescription prices online india lowest prescription prices online india cheapest online pharmacy india

  17. Arthurwef
    March 25, 2025 at 4:16 am

    http://mexicanpharminter.com/# mexican pharmacy online store
    canadian pharmacies online

  18. WillisLutle
    March 25, 2025 at 4:18 am

    http://mexicanpharminter.com/# reliable mexican pharmacies

  19. Jamesjiz
    March 25, 2025 at 7:39 am

    cheapest pharmacy canada: InterPharmOnline.com – best online canadian pharmacy

  20. Arthurwef
    March 25, 2025 at 10:51 am

    https://interpharmonline.com/# canadian pharmacy tampa
    trusted canadian pharmacy

  21. WillisLutle
    March 25, 2025 at 10:59 am

    https://interpharmonline.com/# canadian pharmacy meds review

  22. Howardslutt
    March 25, 2025 at 1:55 pm

    legitimate canadian pharmacy online: certified canada pharmacy online – safe canadian pharmacies

  23. MonteMap
    March 25, 2025 at 3:20 pm

    lowest prescription prices online india IndiaMedFast buying prescription drugs from india

  24. Jamesjiz
    March 25, 2025 at 3:23 pm

    Mexican Pharm Inter: mexican pharmacy online store – MexicanPharmInter

  25. Arthurwef
    March 25, 2025 at 5:45 pm

    https://indiamedfast.com/# order medicines online india
    canadian pharmacy king reviews

  26. WillisLutle
    March 25, 2025 at 5:58 pm

    http://mexicanpharminter.com/# Mexican Pharm International

  27. Jamesjiz
    March 25, 2025 at 11:21 pm

    mexican drug stores online: buying from online mexican pharmacy – Mexican Pharm Inter

  28. Howardslutt
    March 25, 2025 at 11:24 pm

    buy canadian drugs: fda approved canadian online pharmacies – canadian mail order pharmacy

  29. GregoryAnter
    March 26, 2025 at 1:09 am

    Tadalafil Easy Buy: TadalafilEasyBuy.com – Tadalafil Easy Buy

  30. DwayneLah
    March 26, 2025 at 3:11 am

    kamagra pillen kopen KamagraKopen.pro kamagra kopen nederland

  31. KennethLus
    March 26, 2025 at 5:52 am

    https://generic100mgeasy.com/# Buy generic 100mg Viagra online

  32. TerryErose
    March 26, 2025 at 6:10 am

    https://generic100mgeasy.com/# Generic 100mg Easy

  33. Williamben
    March 26, 2025 at 7:09 am

    Generic 100mg Easy: buy generic 100mg viagra online – buy generic 100mg viagra online

  34. GregoryAnter
    March 26, 2025 at 7:11 am

    Cialis 20mg price: cialis without a doctor prescription – cialis without a doctor prescription

  35. KennethLus
    March 26, 2025 at 11:41 am

    https://generic100mgeasy.shop/# viagra canada

  36. TerryErose
    March 26, 2025 at 12:06 pm

    https://tadalafileasybuy.com/# Tadalafil Easy Buy

  37. DwayneLah
    March 26, 2025 at 12:49 pm

    Generic100mgEasy viagra canada Cheap Viagra 100mg

  38. GregoryAnter
    March 26, 2025 at 1:08 pm

    TadalafilEasyBuy.com: cialis without a doctor prescription – TadalafilEasyBuy.com

  39. Williamben
    March 26, 2025 at 2:19 pm

    Generic 100mg Easy: buy generic 100mg viagra online – Cheap generic Viagra online

  40. KennethLus
    March 26, 2025 at 5:32 pm

    https://generic100mgeasy.com/# Generic 100mg Easy

  41. TerryErose
    March 26, 2025 at 6:00 pm

    http://generic100mgeasy.com/# buy generic 100mg viagra online

  42. GregoryAnter
    March 26, 2025 at 7:14 pm

    TadalafilEasyBuy.com: TadalafilEasyBuy.com – cialis without a doctor prescription

  43. Williamben
    March 26, 2025 at 10:15 pm

    Tadalafil Easy Buy: cialis without a doctor prescription – Tadalafil Easy Buy

  44. DwayneLah
    March 26, 2025 at 10:59 pm

    п»їcialis generic cialis without a doctor prescription TadalafilEasyBuy.com

  45. KennethLus
    March 27, 2025 at 12:09 am

    https://tadalafileasybuy.com/# Tadalafil Easy Buy

  46. GregoryAnter
    March 27, 2025 at 2:50 am

    Kamagra: Kamagra Kopen – Kamagra

  47. KennethLus
    March 27, 2025 at 7:22 am

    https://tadalafileasybuy.com/# TadalafilEasyBuy.com

  48. TerryErose
    March 27, 2025 at 7:55 am

    https://kamagrakopen.pro/# Kamagra Kopen

  49. Williamben
    March 27, 2025 at 9:44 am

    Kamagra: kamagra 100mg kopen – Kamagra

  50. GregoryAnter
    March 27, 2025 at 10:33 am

    kamagra 100mg kopen: kamagra jelly kopen – kamagra gel kopen

  51. DwayneLah
    March 27, 2025 at 10:45 am

    kamagra gel kopen Kamagra Kopen Kamagra Kopen Online

  52. KennethLus
    March 27, 2025 at 1:55 pm

    http://tadalafileasybuy.com/# Tadalafil Easy Buy

  53. TerryErose
    March 27, 2025 at 2:24 pm

    https://tadalafileasybuy.com/# Buy Tadalafil 20mg

  54. Williamben
    March 27, 2025 at 3:07 pm

    TadalafilEasyBuy.com: Tadalafil Easy Buy – Buy Tadalafil 5mg

  55. GregoryAnter
    March 27, 2025 at 5:45 pm

    Generic100mgEasy: Generic 100mg Easy – buy generic 100mg viagra online

  56. KennethLus
    March 27, 2025 at 8:23 pm

    https://generic100mgeasy.shop/# Generic 100mg Easy

  57. Williamben
    March 27, 2025 at 8:23 pm

    kamagra jelly kopen: Kamagra Kopen Online – kamagra kopen nederland

  58. TerryErose
    March 27, 2025 at 8:49 pm

    https://generic100mgeasy.com/# Generic100mgEasy

  59. DwayneLah
    March 27, 2025 at 10:12 pm

    TadalafilEasyBuy.com Tadalafil Easy Buy cialis without a doctor prescription

  60. GregoryAnter
    March 28, 2025 at 12:55 am

    Officiele Kamagra van Nederland: Kamagra Kopen Online – Kamagra Kopen Online

  61. Williamben
    March 28, 2025 at 1:53 am

    buy generic 100mg viagra online: Generic 100mg Easy – Generic Viagra for sale

  62. TerryErose
    March 28, 2025 at 3:11 am

    https://kamagrakopen.pro/# Kamagra

  63. GregoryAnter
    March 28, 2025 at 7:54 am

    Cialis over the counter: Tadalafil Easy Buy – cialis without a doctor prescription

  64. KennethLus
    March 28, 2025 at 8:59 am

    https://kamagrakopen.pro/# Kamagra Kopen

  65. TerryErose
    March 28, 2025 at 9:20 am

    https://kamagrakopen.pro/# kamagra jelly kopen

  66. DwayneLah
    March 28, 2025 at 9:39 am

    Tadalafil Easy Buy Tadalafil Easy Buy Buy Tadalafil 10mg

  67. GregoryAnter
    March 28, 2025 at 2:40 pm

    cheap viagra: buy viagra here – Generic100mgEasy

  68. TerryErose
    March 28, 2025 at 3:24 pm

    https://kamagrakopen.pro/# Kamagra

  69. Williamben
    March 28, 2025 at 4:46 pm

    kamagra gel kopen: Kamagra Kopen Online – Kamagra Kopen Online

  70. DwayneLah
    March 28, 2025 at 9:09 pm

    Kamagra Kopen Online kamagra pillen kopen Kamagra

  71. Jessedib
    March 28, 2025 at 9:23 pm

    пинап казино: https://pinupkz.life/

  72. Williampaics
    March 29, 2025 at 2:58 am

    пин ап казино зеркало – пин ап казино официальный сайт

  73. Jessedib
    March 29, 2025 at 3:43 am

    пин ап зеркало: https://pinupkz.life/

  74. Jamesmig
    March 29, 2025 at 8:57 am

    пин ап зеркало – пин ап вход

  75. Williampaics
    March 29, 2025 at 9:10 am

    пин ап казино зеркало – пин ап зеркало

  76. Jessedib
    March 29, 2025 at 10:27 am

    пин ап казино зеркало: https://pinupkz.life/

  77. DwayneLah
    March 29, 2025 at 11:44 am

    Generic100mgEasy buy generic 100mg viagra online Cheap generic Viagra online

  78. Williampaics
    March 29, 2025 at 3:21 pm

    пин ап вход – пин ап зеркало

  79. Jamesmig
    March 29, 2025 at 3:23 pm

    пин ап казино зеркало – пин ап вход

  80. Jessedib
    March 29, 2025 at 5:12 pm

    pinup 2025: https://pinupkz.life/

  81. Williampaics
    March 29, 2025 at 9:30 pm

    pinup 2025 – пин ап вход

  82. Jamesmig
    March 29, 2025 at 9:49 pm

    пин ап зеркало – пин ап зеркало

  83. Jessedib
    March 29, 2025 at 11:43 pm

    пин ап казино официальный сайт: https://pinupkz.life/

  84. DwayneLah
    March 30, 2025 at 12:49 am

    buy generic 100mg viagra online Generic100mgEasy Generic 100mg Easy

  85. Williampaics
    March 30, 2025 at 3:30 am

    пин ап казино – пинап казино

  86. Jamesmig
    March 30, 2025 at 4:09 am

    пин ап казино – пин ап зеркало

  87. Jessedib
    March 30, 2025 at 6:26 am

    пин ап: https://pinupkz.life/

  88. Williampaics
    March 30, 2025 at 9:51 am

    pinup 2025 – пин ап казино зеркало

  89. DwayneLah
    March 30, 2025 at 12:13 pm

    kamagra pillen kopen KamagraKopen.pro Kamagra Kopen Online

  90. Jessedib
    March 30, 2025 at 1:25 pm

    пин ап казино зеркало: https://pinupkz.life/

  91. Williampaics
    March 30, 2025 at 4:22 pm

    пин ап казино – пинап казино

  92. Jamesmig
    March 30, 2025 at 5:05 pm

    пин ап вход – пин ап казино официальный сайт

  93. Jessedib
    March 30, 2025 at 8:26 pm

    пин ап казино официальный сайт: https://pinupkz.life/

Reply your comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked*