You Say

Lauren Daigle – You Say

Main Point:  We hear many voices in our lives saying who we are, but ultimately our identity and security comes from the truth of what God says about us.

Vital Info Before You Get Started: The following info should help you contextualize this very popular song so you can have a great discussion about it with your kids.

• Lauren Daigle grew up in southern Louisiana in a home that would find her constantly in song.Her love for music started at an early age where she wrote her first ever song – about chocolate milk – at age five.
• As a fifteen year old, Lauren was diagnosed with an immune deficiency that would cause her to stay at home for two years.Daigle credits that time in her life as the period when she learned about God’s character and was prepared for the path He had laid out for her.  It was in this season where God laid the foundation in her life that would lead her to pursue music.
• Daigle tried out for American Idol three times, her first attempt being when she was seventeen years old.Through those failures, Lauren learned her calling was to write music for God’s glory.
• Her first album, How Can It Be, achieved significant success and was constantly on top of the Christian charts.Her third album Look Up Child was released in September of 2018.
• Don’t appear as if you have a “canned” discussion in your head and rattle off questions like a teacher giving a pop quiz—your kids get enough of that in school. This is a guide, primarily—not a verbatim script. Just familiarize yourself with the content here and start a conversation in the most natural, unforced way you know how.

Introducing the Song – You Say This: You Sayis the lead single off Daigle’s third studio album. Billboard magazine describes the song as one where Lauren sings of a worth that isfound in God and whatever he says about her strength and ability to be loved.  In an interview with CCM Magazine, Daigle says the song brought up the issue of identity and trying to figure out how to exist when I felt like so many things were pulling me in so many different directions. She continues saying, I think a lot of times we build these complexes based on insecurity, based on fear, based on rejection, and the lies we have to constantly overcome.  And so this song for me was just a reminder of identity…that I know when I’m weak, He’s strong, so how do I change that and bring that into my everyday life? The song has hit the top spot on the Billboard Hot Christian Songs, #44 on the Billboard Hot 100, and has spent time in the top 20 on the iTunes Top Songs chart.

The Music Video:  Here’s the music video via YouTube:

Song Lyrics:

Three Questions to Ask in the Car (with thoughts to dive deeper with your kids):

Q:  What do you think she means when she says the lies tell her that she won’t measure up?

A: The goal here is to gain some insight into your child’s view on their self-worth and how others might speak toward it.

Q:  Why do you think God views us so different from how we view ourselves?

A: This question is designed to get them talking about their understanding of God and His view on our identity.

Q: What do you find hard about believing what God says?
A: Here you are aiming to get them talking about the challenges of trusting God’s Word as well as gaining insight into their spiritual life.

Where to Take It from Here:  Wherever it feels natural. If these questions lead to a longer discussion on the topic, wonderful!  (There is a guide just after this paragraph that helps you do just that.) If your kids are barely uttering grunts, don’t get discouraged – the next time it feels right, try out another song. Keep engaging them

For Deeper Discussion: 
(If your kids seem into diving in deeper and looking at what the Bible has to say on the subject, the following discussion guide can help take you there.)

Want help getting your teenager engaged in conversation? CLICK HERE for a helpful article from our “Parenting Help” page providing you with 3 Essentials to Talking with Today’s Teens.

Transition Statement – Say Something Like This:  This song talks about the voices around us that tell us we aren’t good enough or strong enough, but then gives us a contrasting perspective.  The lines of the song that start with “You say” are truths that go against our feelings and tell us when we can’t feel a thing, when we think we are weak, when we are falling short, when we don’t belong – God has something to say to us.  It then becomes our choice whether or not to believe.  Let’s take some time and talk about this song and what God wants us to know about our identity.

Discussion Questions: 

1. ASK ALL FAMILY MEMBERS: In less than ten seconds, how would you describe yourself?
2. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: What did the ways we described ourselves have in common?
3. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: The song says I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I’m not enough, every single lie that tells me I will never measure up.  From your experience, what are some specific examples of things the voices and lies might be saying to people your age?
4. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: What are some of the sources of the voices and lies in your life and the lives of others? Are there any sources that should be removed or lessened in your life?
5. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: The song says you are loved, strong, held, and that you belong to God.  Which of these is the hardest for you to believe and why?
6. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: Which of the things from the last question is the one that is the easiest for you to grab onto and believe?
7. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: Why is it sometimes so hard to believe what God says about us?
8. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: Does what you do determine who you are, or does who you are determine what you do? Talk about why you think the way you do.

Read the following passage:

2 Corinthians 10:4-5

The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. ⁵ We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 

9. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: This section of 2 Corinthians 10 features the apostle Paul making an appeal to the people of Corinth to be obedient to Christ.  At the time of his writing, there were false teachers around in who were working to sell a different gospel.  Here Paul writes that believers have weapons to fight against those lies.  What does he say about these weapons in these verses?
10. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS:  A stronghold is a fortified place.  What do you think it means to have a stronghold set up in your mind?  Why is this a dangerous thing?
11. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS:  What does it mean in verse three when it says “for you died?”
12. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: Pretension is just a fancy way to say assertion or claim.  What kinds of arguments or claims do people make today that go against what we know about God?
13. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS:  What do you think it means to take every thought captive to Christ?
14. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS:  What are the weapons we fight with that have the power Paul talks about? (Prayer and God’s Word)
15. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS:  The principle here is to identify the lie and replace it with the truth.  Let’s practice this right now.  Can someone identify a lie they believe about themselves and replace it with the truth of what God says about them?
16. ASK ALL FAMILY MEMBERS:  What keeps us from opening God’s Word and spending time in prayer?  What are some things you’ve learned that have helped you make those things a reality in your life?

Wrap Up – Say Something Like This: During this time we talked about the song You Say and our fight against the voices in this world that try and tell us who we are.  We identified some of those voices and the things they say about us.  We talked about identifying the lies and replacing them with the truth.  We talked about considering removing some of the sources of these lies from your life. If you remove things from your life, it’s often wise to add something.  How can you incorporate prayer and God’s Word into your life in fresh and realistic ways, so you can be ready to fight?

(Pause and give them a quiet moment to reflect on this.)

Faith is when we believe what God says and act on it, no matter how we feel, because we know He can be trusted.  The Bible tells us in Romans 10:17 that faith comes when we hear God’s Word.  As you consider new ways to incorporate God’s Word into your life, take time and ask God to build your faith.  Ask God to help you believe what He says is true, especially what He says about you.

(Pause and give them a moment to pray silently.)

God created you to be His. He loves you, He gives strength, and He is near.  Let’s be people who believe Him, even when it’s hard – and let’s be people who are doing whatever it takes to know His truth.  May He give us the grace to identify the lies that come at us and believe His truth no matter how we feel, because we know He is good.

CLOSE IN PRAYER