This Feeling

Main Point: Things can feel right and still turn out wrong, but the truth of God’s Word will lead us toward the best possible choices.

Vital Info Before You Get Started: The following info should help you contextualize this very popular song so you can have a great discussion about it with your kids.

• IMPORTANT NOTE TO PARENTS: We at The Source for Youth Ministry believe that certain elements in our youth culture can serve as good discussion jump starters with students. At the same time, we would never hope to introduce teens to a negative influence that they haven’t already encountered. This balance is a delicate one. In our experience most teens, churched and unchurched, keep pretty current with music and music videos like this one. Thanks to YouTube, MTV.com, Spotify, and iTunes, the most popular music videos and songs are free to access only a click away. If you decide to use this, do so by catering it to fit your family’s needs.
• The Chainsmokers came together in 2012 as a dance music DJ duo consisting of Alex Pall and Rhett Bixler. Bixler did not stay long and was replaced by Andrew Taggart, who continues in the popular group today.
• They first hit the charts in 2014 with the novelty song #Selfie. Two years later, in 2016, they soared to the top of the charts with Closer, one of the biggest pop hit singles of all time, staying at the top of the Billboard Hot 100 for twelve straight weeks.
• Kelsea Ballerini was born and raised as an only child in Knoxville, Tennessee. As a teenager, she shifted from dancing to music, singing in school and church choirs.
• At the age of nineteen, she signed her first record deal and released her debut single Love Me Like You Mean It. Her debut album was not far behind as The First Time was released just a year later and rose to the #4 spot on the U.S. Country Chart. Her second studio album Unapologetically was released in 2017.

Introducing the Song – Say Something Like This: Speaking about this song, songwriter Drew Taggart says, “Songwriting is my therapy. I dealt with depression for what most would call the height of the Chainsmokers career thus far. You’d think that an artist getting their first massive break and seeing success in a career they love would have no problems, but that’s the funny thing about depression. It doesn’t matter what you’ve accomplished, because it attacks how you feel about it.”  Drew says This Feeling is the first song he wrote when he came out of his depressive state, declaring the song is about following your heart even when people don’t believe in you..

The Music Video: The music video can be viewed for free at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YuPzpoC3QNc

Song Lyrics – This Feeling

I’ll tell you a story before it tells itself
I’ll lay out all my reasons, you’ll say that I need help
We all got expectations, and sometimes they go wrong
But no one listens to me, so I put it in this song

They tell me think with my head, not that thing in my chest
They got their hands at my neck this time
But you’re the one that I want, and if that’s really so wrong
Then they don’t know what this feeling is like

And I say yeah-eah, yeah-eah-eah-eah
Yeah-eah, yeah-eah-eah-eah
And I say yeah-eah, yeah-eah-eah-eah
Yeah-eah, yeah-eah-eah-eah

I’ll tell them a story, they’ll sit and nod their heads
I tell you all my secrets, and you tell all your friends
Hold on to your opinions, and stand by what you said
In the end, it’s my decision, so it’s my fault when it ends

They tell me think with my head, not that thing in my chest
They got their hands at my neck this time
But you’re the one that I want, and if that’s really so wrong
Then they don’t know what this feeling is like

And I say yeah-eah, yeah-eah-eah-eah
Yeah-eah, yeah-eah-eah-eah
And I say yeah-eah, yeah-eah-eah-eah
Yeah-eah, yeah-eah-eah-eah

I’ll tell you a story before it tells itself
I’ll lay out all my reasons, you’ll say that I need help
We all got expectations, and sometimes they go wrong
But no one listens to me, so I put it in this song

They tell me think with my head, not that thing in my chest
They got their hands at my neck this time
But you’re the one that I want, and if that’s really so wrong
Then they don’t know what this feeling is like

My friends say no-o, no-o-o (But they don’t know)
No-o, no-o-o
Yeah, no-o, no-o-o
They don’t know, no no (No-o, no-o-o)

And I say yeah, oh oh
Oh, and I say yeah, hey-ey, yeah
They don’t know, oh

Three Questions to Ask in the Car (with thoughts to dive deeper with your kids):

Q: What do you think they mean when they sing “think with my head and not that thing in my chest?” What do you think about that as advice?
A: Explore the idea of thinking with your head and your heart and introduce the topic of where should we look to make our decisions.

Q: Can you think of a time where you or someone you know was certain they were right, but in the end they were wrong? Why do you think that happened?
A: You can discuss there being a way that seems right to man but in the end leads to destruction, and how easy it is to be blind in decision making – and talk about how to avoid that.

Q: Do you think the Bible can help us make better choices? Why do you think the way you do?
A: Dive into the authority of God’s Word and how the Bible can be a lamp to our feet and a light to our path.

Where to Take It from Here: Wherever it feels natural. If these questions lead to a longer discussion on the topic, wonderful!  (There is a guide just after this paragraph that helps you do just that.) If your kids are barely uttering grunts, don’t get discouraged – the next time it feels right, try out another song. Keep engaging them.

For Deeper Discussion: 
(If your kids seem into diving in deeper and looking at what the Bible has to say on the subject, the following discussion guide can help take you there.)

Want help getting your teenager engaged in conversation? CLICK HERE for a helpful article from our “Parenting Help” page providing you with 3 Essentials to Talking with Today’s Teens.

Transition Statement – Say Something Like This: The idea of following your heart is widely known and understood throughout this world. In some ways it is simply a cliché meaning that we should pursue the things we are passionate about. In other ways it implies that we inwardly know the right direction to go and we should listen to our inner desires when making choices. Is this true? Can we trust our hearts when it comes to making choices, or is there a better way to go? Let’s take some time to talk about that.

Discussion Questions:

1. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: Besides the cliché follow your heart, what are some other clichés that you’ve heard or even use yourself?
2. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: When the song says, “we all got expectations, and sometimes they go wrong” is there an example from your own life that you can point to where this was true?
3. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: When you hear the lyric, “they tell me think with my head, not that thing in my chest” do you think this is good advice or bad advice? Explain why you think the way you do.

4. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: What do you think of the line that says, “my friends say no-o, no-o-o (But they don’t know).” Have you ever felt this way? Explain your view.

5. ASK ALL FAMILY MEMBERS: Can you think of a time when something seemed right, but in the end turned out to be wrong? It could be a decision you made or a perspective you had on something.

6. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: What do you think are the dangers of following your heart? Are their times when it can be a good thing? Explain why you think the way you do.
7. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: This song was written after the songwriter walked through depression. In what way do you see that reflected in the lyrics?
8. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: Why do you think depression has become common in your generation?

Read the following passages:

Psalm 119:104-105
Through your precepts I get understanding; therefore I hate every false way. Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.

9. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: Read Psalm 119:97-105. What are some things you observe from reading this passage?

10. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: Precepts are rules to govern behavior. Why do you think 1 John 5:3 says God’s precepts/rules/commands are a way of showing love for God? 1 John 5:3 “In fact, this is love for God: to keep his commands. And his commands are not burdensome.”

11. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: What do you think it means that God’s commands are not burdensome?

12. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: How can we get understanding from God’s precepts?

13. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: What does it mean to hate every false way?

14. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: Jeremiah 17:9 says, “the heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” How does this verse caution us from following our hearts?

15. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: Why do you think God wants us to know that His Word is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path?

16. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: Read Ephesians 4:21-24 which says, “when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” In light of this passage, what do you learn about how Jesus changes the way we make our choices?

17. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: Based on our discussion, how would you respond to this lyric from the song, “But you’re the one that I want, and if that’s really so wrong, then they don’t know what this feeling is like”?

Wrap Up – Say Something Like This: We are often told that if we follow our heart and do what we think is right, then things will work out. Life has a way of showing us just how untrue this is. The reality is that sin has corrupted our hearts and therefore we can easily think something is right when in fact it is very wrong. This is why Proverbs 14:12 says, “There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death.” As you consider your own life, would you say you are someone who tends to go their own way, to trust their own instincts or what others say, or would you say you are a person who looks to God and His Word for direction? Take a moment for reflection and consider this question, and ask yourself why you think the way you do. Then reflect back to God in prayer your desire when it comes to making choices. 

(Pause and give them a quiet moment to meditate and pray silently.) 

The problem with our deceptive hearts can only be resolved through the transformation that comes from Jesus and His Spirit entering our lives. When we are made new in Christ, He does an inward work that changes how we think and gives us the faith to trust Him and His Word. If you have never asked Jesus to come into your life, consider that He desires for you to know Him and wants to bring light into the darkness in your life. If you are a follower of Jesus, consider that we need to connect with Him regularly so we can hear His voice and know His Word. Take a moment and pray over these things depending on where you are at in your spiritual journey. 

(Pause and give them a few moments to pray silently.) 

Things can feel right and still turn out wrong, but the truth of God’s Word will lead us toward the best possible choices. Let’s be people who know His Word and who chase after Him so we will have our paths lit. Instead of following our hearts, let’s set our hearts on Him and His Word, trusting that He knows the way to lead us out of our darkness and into His glorious light.

CLOSE IN PRAYER