The Bones

Main Point: When you make God’s way your foundation, your relationships can weather any storm that comes.

Vital Info Before You Get Started: The following info should help you contextualize this very popular song so you can have a great discussion about it with your kids.

• IMPORTANT NOTE TO PARENTS: We at The Source for Youth Ministry believe that certain elements in our youth culture can serve as good discussion jump starters with students. At the same time, we would never hope to introduce teens to a negative influence that they haven’t already encountered. This balance is a delicate one. In our experience most teens, churched and unchurched, keep pretty current with music and music videos like this one. Thanks to YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music, the most popular music videos and songs are free to access only a click away. If you decide to use this, do so by catering it to fit your family’s needs.
• Maren Morris hails from Texas and began writing and performing music at the ripe age of 12. Eight years later, she moved to Nashville to pursue her country music career.
• She began focusing on songwriting, penning songs for both Tim McGraw and Kelly Clarkson, before releasing her first major label album Hero in 2016. Her lead single, “My Church” earned her four Grammy nominations and one win in 2017.
• She has released two major label studio albums, the second Girl being released in the spring of 2019.
• Morris got engaged to her boyfriend, singer-songwriter Ryan Hurd, in July 2017. The pair married in a March 2018 ceremony in Nashville, where they currently reside.

Introducing the Song – Say Something Like This: The song The Bones is written to be a reflection on sturdy relationships. The idea is that no matter what else is going on around it, the relationship contains two people who can rely on each other and handle whatever comes their way. Morris has been married to songwriter and collaborator Ryan Hurd for two years, and she wrote this song to reflect her early learnings in her marriage.

The Music Video: The music video can be viewed for free at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WT18Uh0rWU

Song Lyrics: The Bones

We’re in the homestretch of the hard times
We took a hard left, but we’re alright
Yeah, life sure can try to put love through it, but
We built this right, so nothing’s ever gonna move it

When the bones are good, the rest don’t matter
Yeah, the paint could peel, the glass could shatter
Let it rain ’cause you and I remain the same
When there ain’t a crack in the foundation
Baby, I know any storm we’re facing
Will blow right over while we stay put
The house don’t fall when the bones are good

Call it dumb luck, but baby, you and I
Can’t even mess it up, although we both try
No, it don’t always go the way we planned it
But the wolves came and went and we’re still standing

When the bones are good, the rest don’t matter
Yeah, the paint could peel, the glass could shatter
Let it rain ’cause you and I remain the same
When there ain’t a crack in the foundation
Baby, I know any storm we’re facing
Will blow right over while we stay put
The house don’t fall when the bones are good
When the bones are good

Bones are good, the rest, the rest don’t matter (Baby, it don’t really matter)
Paint could peel, the glass could shatter (Oh, the glass, oh, the glass could shatter)
Bones are good, the rest, the rest don’t matter (Ooh)
Paint could peel, the glass, the glass could shatter (Yeah)

When the bones are good, the rest don’t matter
Yeah, the paint could peel, the glass could shatter
Let it rain (Let it rain, let it rain)
‘Cause you and I remain the same (Woo)
When there ain’t a crack in the foundation (Woo)
Baby, I know any storm we’re facing
Will blow right over while we stay put
The house don’t fall when the bones are good

Yeah, ooh

Three Questions to Ask in the Car (with thoughts to dive deeper with your kids):

Q: What do you think it means for a relationship to have “good bones?”
A: Takes the theme of the song and starts a conversation about strong relationships.

Q: Do you agree that if the foundation is strong the “rest don’t matter?” 
A: Continues the conversation by diving into what really does matter in a relationship.

Q: Why do you think your foundation is important in life, especially when you build relationships?
A: Gets to the heart of things – what is your foundation on and why does it matter? Why do relationships tend to expose the foundation our lives are built on?

Where to Take It from Here: Wherever it feels natural. If these questions lead to a longer discussion on the topic, wonderful!  (There is a guide just after this paragraph that helps you do just that.) If your kids are barely uttering grunts, don’t get discouraged – the next time it feels right, try out another song. Keep engaging them.

For Deeper Discussion:
(If your kids seem into diving in deeper and looking at what the Bible has to say on the subject, the following discussion guide can help take you there.)

Want help getting your teenager engaged in conversation? CLICK HERE for a helpful article from our “Parenting Help” page providing you with 3 Essentials to Talking with Today’s Teens.

Transition Statement – Say Something Like This: This moving song paints a picture of a relationship that stands strong through storms because of its solid foundation. The song declares because the relationship is build right, nothing can move it. The unanswered question from this song is how someone can build this type of foundation. God’s Word gives us some clear direction on how to build a strong foundation, so let’s take time to talk about it.

Discussion Questions:

1. ASK YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY: What comes to mind when you think of something with a strong foundation?
2. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: What do you think the song means when it says, “we’re in the homestretch of the hard times”? Why do you think they think they are in the homestretch.
3. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: React to the line “we built this right, so nothing’s ever gonna move it.” Now look through the rest of the lyrics. Do you feel as though the lyrics give any insight into what it looks like to build things right?
4. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: When the song says, “but the wolves came and went and we’re still standing,” give some thoughts about what you think they mean.
5. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: What kind of storms would you say are typically faced in relationships/friendships?
6. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: What are some of your thoughts as to what makes “the bones good” when it comes to relationships, both friendships and dating relationships?
7. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: Why do you think the foundation of our lives is so important when it comes to relationships?
8. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: What are some things that you’ve seen people build as a foundation in their lives that caused their relationships to suffer?

Read the following passage:

Matthew 7:24-27
Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.

9. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: Read Matthew 7:13-29. What are some themes you see in these verses?

10. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: Verse 24 starts with “Therefore.” Looking at the previous verses, what is verse 24 looking back at?

11. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: According to these verses, what specifically does the wise man do? What about the foolish man?

12. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: We talked about this earlier, but now looking at these verses, why is the foundation so important?

13. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: If building a strong foundation is about hearing God’s Words and putting them into practice, what are some things God has said that can be applied to relationships?

14. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: How can a person know if they have built their life on the strong foundation that Jesus is talking about in these verses?

15. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: Why is it sometimes hard for us to keep Jesus and His Word as our foundation when it comes to relationships?

Wrap Up – Say Something Like This: It’s inspiring to hear someone a couple years into marriage feel so confident about their relationship. The image of strength from a house that has strong bones is very similar to the picture Jesus uses in Matthew 7. As we live our lives, the rains are going to come. The storms are inevitable. When hardships come at us, the foundation we have built our lives on will be exposed. When it comes to our relationships, our foundations will eventually be revealed. 

Think of a stack of bricks. If the bottom brick is strong, you can be confident that even if everything else falls, your foundation is secure. Now picture that same stack of bricks. If the bottom brick is something other than Jesus and His Word, when the brick fails – everything else falls. Surely you’ve seen or maybe experienced someone who lost a relationship and their world fell apart. Their foundation was probably the relationship itself, so when it fell, everything fell.

This is why having a strong foundation matters so much when it comes to our relationships. We simply cannot afford to have the relationship itself serve as our foundation. Eventually hardship is going to come, and we need something stronger, something more stable that can handle anything that comes our way.

Take a few moments with God and ask Him to reveal anything in your life that you’ve allowed to become your foundation, whether this means relationships or something else.  

(Pause and give them a quiet moment to meditate and pray silently.)

Now ask God what steps you need to take to hear His Word and put it into practice, inviting Him to strengthen the foundation of your life. 

(Pause and give them a few moments to pray silently.)

When we build the strongest foundation – Jesus Christ and His Word – we can handle any storms that come our way. Let’s be people who allow Him to be the foundation and build our relationships from there. Let’s allow our obedience to Him to be the starting point for everything we do, and with everyone we embrace.

 CLOSE IN PRAYER