Same Love

The Song: Same Love by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis

Main Point of Discussion: Christians do not have to compromise God’s truth to show the love of Christ to others. Christians must love homosexuals with the love of Christ.

Vital Info Before You Get Started: The following info should help you contextualize this very popular song so you can have a great discussion about it with your kids.

IMPORTANT NOTE TO PARENTS: We at The Source for Youth Ministry believe that certain elements in our youth culture can serve as good discussion jump starters with students. At the same time, we would never hope to introduce teens to a negative influence that they haven’t already encountered. This balance is a delicate one. In our experience most teens, churched and unchurched, keep pretty current with music and music videos like this one. Thanks to YouTube, MTV.com, and iTunes, the most popular music videos and songs are free to access only a click away. If you decide to use this, do so by catering it to fit your family’s needs.

• Same Love by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis and Mary Lambert is a song that supports gay marriage and has a number of unflattering things to say about the Church. At the 2013 VMAs, it took home the award for “Best Video with a Social Message.”

• Macklemore and Ryan Lewis are well known from their earlier hit singles “Thrift Shop” and “Can’t Hold Us,” but the most intriguing storyline might be the lesser-known Mary Lambert, a singer-songwriter who is also a self-confessed lesbian. Lambert’s story exemplifies the exact reason why this discussion is important for The Church and families and why it should also be handled with great care.

• The chorus and outro to Same Love were originally written for Mary Lambert’s song entitled, She Keeps Me Warm, which details her experiences as a lesbian growing up in an evangelical Christian church. Mary grew up Pentecostal, but when she was 6, her mother came out as a lesbian, and her family was ostracized by the church. Still, she says that she grew in her faith and remained in the evangelical church until she came out at the age of 17, at which point she gave up on her faith and The Church. The repeating line from both Same Love and She Keeps Me Warm, “not crying on Sundays,” refers to the way she used to feel after leaving church services on Sunday mornings.

• Mary is an example for us of why it is sooooooo important to exercise great caution in how we address homosexuality. It is important to not compromise on biblical truth, of course, but it is also important to remember that your kids may know other students who are struggling with this issue right now.

*NOTE FOR PARENTS:
This is clearly a very high profile and sensitive subject in our society right now. It is extremely important to be careful with what you say during this discussion and to make sure that you conduct the discussion in a manner that communicates love and care for everyone involved.

Scripture is just as clear regarding same-gender sexual sin as it is regarding opposite-gender sexual sin; they’re both sinful; God isn’t cool with either action. Unfortunately the church has justifiably gained a reputation as a gay-hating institution by, among other things, stigmatizing homosexual sin (and homosexuality in general) to a far greater extent. For more helpful info on dealing with homosexuality, check out this TRAINING TOOL.

Introducing the Song:
Macklemore and Ryan Lewis performed this song at the 2013 MTV VMAs where it won “Best Video with a Social Message.” It also rose as high as #15 on Billboard Charts and #12 on iTunes. That means, you have probably heard this song. The song is moving and emotional, but how does it compare with biblical truth? Let’s listen to the song and then see what you think.

The Music Video:
The official music video can be found here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlVBg7_08n0.
(You may need to screen this video first. There are some scenes that church leaders may find offensive.)

The live performance of the same song is here: http://www.mtv.com/videos/misc/948771/same-love-live.jhtml#id=1712041

Song Lyrics:

Three Simple Questions (with Answers You May Be Looking for):

Q: What was the main message in Macklemore’s song?
A: His message focused on equality for homosexuals, gays, and lesbians. In one sense, he wants the laws to change, but in another sense, he knows that “no law is gonna change us.”

Q: What were some of the good, solid, healthy messages that you heard in the song?
A: He sang about the need to stand up for those who are oppressed and those who “have their rights stolen.” He argues that we should defend the helpless and downtrodden, not stereotype others. We should love everyone and fight against hate.

Q: What balance do you think God would have us to strike between “loving homosexuals” and “honoring His Word” which labels homosexuality a sin?
A: Just because we “honor His Word, the Bible” doesn’t mean we can hate homosexuals. But just because we “love homosexuals” doesn’t mean we can do away with or change God’s Word. We must take God’s Word seriously, which says that homosexuality is a sin…and that we must love everyone.

Where to Take It from Here:
Wherever it feels natural. If these questions lead to a longer discussion on the topic, wonderful! (There’s a guide just after this paragraph that helps you do just that.) If your kids are barely uttering grunts, don’t get discouraged—the next time it feels right, try out another song. Keep engaging them.

For Deeper Discussion: (If your kids seem into diving in deeper, the following discussion guide can help take you there.)

Transitional Statement:
Macklemore’s song supports the (now) widespread notion that romantic love between homosexuals should be treated exactly the “same” as the love that heterosexual couples have for one another. But in his support of homosexuality, he also has some less-than-flattering things to say about The Church. In spite of his poor view of The Church or the Bible, Christians must love homosexuals with the love of Christ. Let’s discuss these ideas some more.

1. HAVE ALL YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS ANSWER: In what ways have you seen the tension between the Church and homosexuals played out in our culture?
2. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: From listening to this song, how do you think Macklemore feels about The Church? What kind of things does he accuse The Church of?
3. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: All across his song, Macklemore sings about sticking up for others and defending those who are hurting. Do you think God values those ideas? Why or why not? (Parents – Absolutely! It might be worth mentioning here that defending the poor, the weak, the oppressed, and the downtrodden is a theme that occurs repeatedly throughout the Bible. The Bible brings up this idea far more often than it does homosexuality. It isn’t optional for Christians!)
4. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: Do you think some churches (and Christians) deserve the criticism that Macklemore gives? Why or why not?

Transition Statement:
Some Christians have earned this poor reputation by elevating the sin of homosexuality above all others. We’ve been so vocal and harsh when talking about it in the past, that to the outside world, we’ve come across as very judgmental and condemning. Some even label Christians as “anti-gay.” Does it have to be that way though? Is it possible to love the LGBT community without compromising God’s truth on the matter?

Read the following passage:

1. 1. John 8:2-11

2 At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. 3 The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4 and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” 6 They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

1. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: What words would you use to describe the way the Pharisees and teachers of the law treated this woman?
2. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: What words would you use to describe the way Jesus treated this woman?
3. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: Would you in any way describe Jesus’ treatment of the women as “hateful” or “bigoted?” Give proof either way.
4. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: At the same time, did Jesus try to justify her adultery or tell her that it wasn’t sin? (Parents – No. In verse 11, He specifically says she has been living in a life of sin.)
5. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: Imagine that the word adultery was simply replaced in this passage by the word homosexuality. So, instead of an adulterous woman, the Pharisees brought a woman caught in homosexuality to Jesus. How do you think Jesus would have responded? Why?
6. HAVE ALL YOUR FAMILY MEMEBERS ANSWER: How does Jesus’ response to this woman affect the way you view and respond to people you know who are gay or struggling with homosexual issues?

Wrap Up:
In the charged atmosphere that exists today, a false dichotomy has developed. In most of the discourse on this issue, the unnecessary choice that is presented is that you are either (a) fully supportive of homosexuality and recognize it as a morally acceptable lifestyle or (b) you are a homophobe and a bigot, who hates gays.

That is what Jesus wants!

Close in Prayer