Hope

Main Point: Things built on a weak foundation lack true hope of lasting. Only when we build on Jesus Christ as our foundation can we have true hope that things will last.

Vital Info Before You Get Started: The following info should help you contextualize this very popular song so you can have a great discussion about it with your kids.

• IMPORTANT NOTE TO PARENTS: We at The Source for Youth Ministry believe that certain elements in our youth culture can serve as good discussion jump starters with students. At the same time, we would never hope to introduce teens to a negative influence that they haven’t already encountered. This balance is a delicate one. In our experience most teens, churched and unchurched, keep pretty current with music and music videos like this one. Thanks to YouTube, MTV.com, Spotify, and iTunes, the most popular music videos and songs are free to access only a click away. If you decide to use this, do so by catering it to fit your family’s needs.

• New Yorkers Alex Pall and Andrew Taggart teamed up in 2012 to form the electronic dance music/pop duo known as The Chainsmokers.

• Their breakthrough came in 2014 with the release of their hit song #selfie which hit the 16 spot on the Billboard Hot 100 chart.

• Their second studio album Sick Boy was released in December of 2018.

• Don’t appear as if you have a “canned” discussion in your head and rattle off questions like a teacher giving a pop quiz—your kids get enough of that in school. This is a guide, primarily—not a verbatim script. Just familiarize yourself with the content here and start a conversation in the most natural, unforced way you know how.

Introducing the Song – Say Something Like This:  Hope is the final single released from The Chainsmokers Sick Boy album. The song tells of a relationship that was more infatuation than love and never provided what either party expected. Through various factors including apparent alcohol overconsumption, the relationship proved to be a waste of time that they will never get back.

The Music Video:  The music video can be viewed for free at:   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJOgTMP8cs4

Song Lyrics: Hope 

I would have walked through fire to kiss your lips
Do you still think about it, of what you did?
Still see your old apartment, like a bad trip
Wish I could forget all the places we’ve been

Hard and heavy whiskey goodbyes
Boy, you know how to make a girl cry
Was sleeping in a bed full of lies
And now that I’m older, I can see why

You made me feel high
‘Cause you had me so low, low, low
You only seemed tall
‘Cause you stunted my grow-grow-growth
I only wanted you ’cause I couldn’t have you
Now that I know
That wasn’t love, that wasn’t love, that was just hope

Hope
Hope
Hope
That wasn’t love, that wasn’t love, that was just hope

Always another bender, I lose control
I thought I’d get it back when
You came back home to me, darling
But I never had it, did I? Your heart’s a trick
And all the magic we felt was just a hit

Hard and heavy whiskey goodbyes
Boy, you know how to make a girl cry
Was sleeping in a bed full of lies
And now that I’m older, I can see why

You made me feel high
‘Cause you had me so low, low, low
You only seemed tall
‘Cause you stunted my grow-grow-growth
I only wanted you ’cause I couldn’t have you
Now that I know (Now that I know)
That wasn’t love, that wasn’t love, that was just hope

Hope
Hope (‘Cause you had me so low)
Hope (Now that I know)
That wasn’t love, that wasn’t love, that was just hope

You made me feel high
‘Cause you had me so low, low, low
You only seemed tall
‘Cause you stunted my grow-grow-growth
I only wanted you ’cause I couldn’t have you
Now that I know (Now that I know)
That wasn’t love, that wasn’t love, that was just hope

Three Questions to Ask in the Car (with thoughts to dive deeper with your kids):

Q:  What do you think they mean when they say “that wasn’t love, that was just hope”?
A:  Opens up the door to a conversation about what love truly is. (Check out 1 John 4:7-10)

Q: What do you think a relationship needs to have to be successful?
A: Talk about the foundational priorities to a successful relationship, whether it’s dating or friendship – and use this opportunity to speak into having Jesus as a foundation.

Q: What are some other things we can have as a foundation besides a relationship? 
A: Probe into other false foundations that won’t last and turn the conversation toward questions about the temporary nature of those things.

Where to Take It from Here: Wherever it feels natural. If these questions lead to a longer discussion on the topic, wonderful! (There is a guide just after that paragraph that helps you do just that.)  If your kids are barely uttering grunts, don’t get discouraged – the next time it feels right, try out another song.  Keep engaging them

For Deeper Discussion: 
(If your kids seem into diving in deeper and looking at what the Bible has to say on the subject, the following discussion guide can help take you there.)

Want help getting your teenager engaged in conversation? CLICK HERE for a helpful article from our “Parenting Help” page providing you with 3 Essentials to Talking with Today’s Teens.

Transition Statement – Say Something Like This: This song talks about a relationship that never met its potential and was viewed as a waste of time by both people involved.  There seems to be a perspective that says the relationship was never going to work because it was just hope, and not love. Is the success of a relationship random or are their foundational things that factor into whether or not it will last? What can we do to make things last?

Discussion Questions: 

1. ASK ALL FAMILY MEMBERS: Thinking about the line in the song that says and now that I’m older, I can see why, what is something that you once thought, but you see differently now that you’re older?

2. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: Looking where the song says hard and heavy whiskey goodbyes, what are some consequences of over-consuming alcohol?

3. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: What do you think are some factors that make a relationship successful?

4. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: What do you think are some factors that likely will cause a relationship to fail?

5. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: What do you think the song means when it says, “that wasn’t love, that was just hope”?

6. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: What do you think are the biggest differences between the temporary love that people talk about and a love that never fails?

Read the following passages:

1 Corinthians 3:11-13
For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ.  If anyone builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, their work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light.  It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each person’s work.

Matthew 7:24-27
Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.  The rain came, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.  But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand.  The rain came, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house and it fell with a great crash.

7. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: Looking at the 1 Corinthians passage, what happens to every foundation built of anything other than Jesus Christ?

8. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: Looking at the Matthew passage, what does it mean to have Jesus Christ as your foundation?

9. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: Why do you think we tend to build our lives on things that won’t last?

10. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: If Jesus is your foundation, and a relationship crumbles, how would things be different than if your relationship was your foundation?

11. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: Why do you think God put these two passages in the Bible?  What is the big idea He wants us to take from these words?

12. ASK ALL FAMILY MEMBERS: What does it look like for you to make Jesus your foundation?

13. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: How do you see God’s love through these two passages?

Wrap Up – Say Something Like This: The discussion this song provokes is all about the foundation that we build things on. It’s heartbreaking when we experience the hurt of a lost relationship of any kind, but especially one where we look back and feel as though we should have known better. What if we protected ourselves from the devastation broken relationships cause by refusing to make those very relationships our foundation in life – but instead built our lives in the only relationship that will last forever – our relationship with Jesus Christ? Take a moment and think about what that might look like in your own life. 

(Pause and give them a quiet moment to reflect on this.) 

Jesus Christ is the ultimate proof that God loves you with a relentless and unfailing love.  His love will never fade and will never end. When we build our lives on Him and put His words into practice, we secure our foundation in a way that will allow us to withstand the toughest storms in life. It’s easy in this world to view love as some magical force that we “hope” works out, but the reality is that love is a choice we make in the same way that God has chosen to love us. Take a moment and talk to Him about how you’ve experience His love in your own life. 

(Pause and give them a few moments to pray silently.) 

The only hope we have of experiencing things that last is to build them on Jesus Christ as our foundation. When we trust Him and believe His Word, we have the opportunity to experience life with Him – and this life is filled with love that lasts. Things built on a weak foundation lack true hope of lasting. Only when we build on Jesus Christ as our foundation can we have true hope that things will last.  Let’s be people who fully experience the hope that only He can bring. 

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