God Only Knows

Main Point: The God who knows everything we face meets us in our loneliness and shame and offers the love we desperately need.

Vital Info Before You Get Started: The following info should help you contextualize this very popular song so you can have a great discussion about it with your kids.

• IMPORTANT NOTE TO PARENTS: We at The Source for Youth Ministry believe that certain elements in our youth culture can serve as good discussion jump starters with students. At the same time, we would never hope to introduce teens to a negative influence that they haven’t already encountered. This balance is a delicate one. In our experience most teens, churched and unchurched, keep pretty current with music and music videos like this one. Thanks to YouTube, MTV.com, Spotify, and iTunes, the most popular music videos and songs are free to access only a click away. If you decide to use this, do so by catering it to fit your family’s needs.
• Australian brothers Joel and Luke Smallbone were raised in a musical family. As teenagers they sang background vocals for their sister, famed gospel recording artist Rebecca St. James, before forming their own band at the ages of 21 and 19.
• After trying out different band names, they settled on for KING & COUNTRY in 2009. When asked about the name, the brothers said it was inspired by the Humpty Dumpty nursery rhyme explaining, “For King and Country” was the battle cry of English soldiers willing to lay down their lives for their king and their country. And now it has become our mission, to lay down our lives for our King and our country.
• Being called “Australia’s answer to Coldplay,” for KING & COUNTRY has released three studio albums with the latest in late 2018.
• Both brothers are married, and reside with their families in Nashville, Tennessee.
• Due to the powerful video for this song, the discussion will focus on both the words of the song and the events in the video.

Introducing the Song – Say Something Like This: God Only Knows was inspired by the idea that we can get caught up in making assumptions about people based on the briefest of interactions. Songwriter Joel Smallbone says, “There seems to be a lot of: ‘You said this. You did this. How dare you.’ The song is really a question mark of, well, first of all, do we really understand each other, fully?” He continues pointing out that there are some things that ‘only God knows’ adding, “We’ve got our shame, we’ve got our troubles, we’ve got our prejudice, we’ve got our judgments. God knows your heart and in turn, the flip of that is, God also carries this love that is sort of the superman of all love.” The song is a way of encouraging people to remember how they are called to represent that same love to others while helping people lean into God’s unmatchable love.

The Music Video: The music video can be viewed for free at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5cPQg3oq-o

Song Lyrics – God Only Knows

Wide awake while the world is sound asleepin’
Too afraid of what might show up while you’re dreamin’
Nobody, nobody, nobody sees you
Nobody, nobody, nobody would believe you
Every day you try to pick up all the pieces
All the memories, they somehow never leave you
Nobody, nobody, nobody sees you
Nobody, nobody, nobody would believe you

God only knows what you’ve been through
God only knows what they say about you
God only knows that it’s killing you
But there’s a kind of love that God only knows
God only knows what you’ve been through
God only knows what they say about you
God only knows the real you
But there’s a kind of love that God only knows

There’s a kind of love that
There’s a kind of love

You keep a cover over every single secret
So afraid that if someone saw they would leave
Somebody, somebody, somebody sees you
Somebody, somebody, somebody leave you

God only knows what you’ve been through
God only knows what they say about you
God only knows how it’s killing you
But there’s a kind of love that God only knows
God only knows what you’ve been through
God only knows what they say about you
God only knows the real you
But there’s a kind of love that God only knows

There’s a kind of love that
There’s a kind of love
There’s a kind of love that
There’s a kind of love

For the lonely, for the ashamed
The misunderstood, and the ones to blame
But if we could start over
We could start over
We could start over
For the lonely, for the ashamed
The misunderstood, and the ones to blame
But if we could start over
We could start over
We could start over

But there’s a kind of love that God only knows

God only knows what you’ve been through
God only knows what they say about you
God only knows the real you
There’s a kind of love that God only knows
God only knows what you’ve been through
God only knows what they say about you
God only knows the real you
But there’s a kind of love that God only knows

There’s a kind of love that
There’s a kind of love
There’s a kind of love that
There’s a kind of love

God only knows where to find you
God only knows how to break through
God only knows the real you
But there’s a kind of love that God only knows

Three Questions to Ask in the Car (with thoughts to dive deeper with your kids):

Q: What do you think about the lyric ‘God only knows what you’ve been through’?
A: Hits on the heart of the song and could get them to start talking about their relationship with God.

Q: Have you ever felt as though nobody sees you?
A: Takes a lyric in the song and opens the door to a potentially vulnerable conversation about loneliness or a related topic.

Q: Can you think of someone in your life who needs to hear this song?
A: Get them thinking and talking about people in their lives who might be struggling or who might need to know God personally.

Where to Take It from Here: Wherever it feels natural. If these questions lead to a longer discussion on the topic, wonderful!  (There is a guide just after this paragraph that helps you do just that.) If your kids are barely uttering grunts, don’t get discouraged – the next time it feels right, try out another song. Keep engaging them.

For Deeper Discussion: 
(If your kids seem into diving in deeper and looking at what the Bible has to say on the subject, the following discussion guide can help take you there.)

Want help getting your teenager engaged in conversation? CLICK HERE for a helpful article from our “Parenting Help” page providing you with 3 Essentials to Talking with Today’s Teens.

Transition Statement – Say Something Like This: This powerful song and video talks about the brokenness we all face, and points out how God knows us and is actively present in the darkest parts of our lives. It also raises the issue of how impactful it can be when we make the choice to be image bearers of God to those around us. Let’s take time and talk about how God’s love meets us in the areas of our lives that only He knows about.

Discussion Questions:

1. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: What stands out to you as you watch the video for this song?
2. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: What do you think the song means when it says, “wide awake while the world is sound asleepin’ Too afraid of what might show up while you’re dreamin”?
3. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: In what ways might you relate to the lyrics, “every day you try to pick up all the pieces, all the memories, they somehow never leave you”?

4. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: In what ways do you relate to the girl (main character) in the video?

5. ASK ALL FAMILY MEMBERS: The song frequently repeats “nobody, nobody, nobody sees you.” Does anyone relate to that phrase? To the degree that you’re willing, share how you relate.

6. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: What does the phrase “God only knows” mean to you? Explain why you think the way you do.
7. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: Can you think of someone in your life who you wish you had a do-over with, like the girl in the video was able to get, and like the song says about starting over?
8. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: What do you hear God saying to you through this song?

Read the following passage:

Isaiah 43:1-4
But now, this is what the Lord says— he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; I give Egypt for your ransom, Cush and Seba in your stead. Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you.

9. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: What part of Isaiah 43:1-4 stands out to you as the most meaningful for you personally?

10. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: How does the fact that God knows everything about you make you feel? Do you find that truth easy to believe or difficult to grasp? Explain why you think the way you do.

11. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: Why do you think God used imagery such as passing through waters and rivers and walking through fire?

12. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: According to these verses, why will the waters not sweep over you nor will the fire burn you?

13. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: According to these verses, how does God view you?

14. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: What do you think makes God’s love so much greater than anything? What are some things that can keep you from sharing that love with others?

15. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: How would these verses help the girl in the video?

16. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: Read Romans 8:38-39, “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” How can these verses and Isaiah 43:1-4 help you when you are feeling down?

17. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: In light of this discussion, how do you think God might use you to share His love with people in your world?

Wrap Up – Say Something Like This: When asked about the song, the guys from the band said, “We’ve walked with those we love as they’ve battled through loneliness, we’ve heard your stories of great loss, and lately, we’ve seen several in the public eye take their own lives. In turn, we were compelled to write and portray an honest, yet hopeful, song for us all during difficult seasons.” There is so much power in this song as it paints a picture of the God who sees, who cares, and who is always loving you. Perhaps you’ve gone through a time when you struggled to find hope, or maybe you’re in that season now. Take a moment and talk to God about the ways you’ve experienced or need to experience His love. 

(Pause and give them a quiet moment to mediate and pray silently.) 

God is the only one who knows what we face. Others might know parts, but only He knows fully. He knows and He has the ability to do something about it – which is where He differs from everyone else in our lives. While surely we know people who would want to rescue us from the crashing waves and the flames of fire, only He has the power to do that. Take a moment and thank Him for His powerful presence, and ask Him to meet with you more and more in the upcoming days. Ask Him to show Himself in your life in greater ways.

(Pause and give them a few moments to pray silently.) 

Not only does God know what we face, but He has put people in our lives who we can show His incredible love to. Even greater, we can help connect them with Him and His infinite love. It’s far too easy to forget how much this world needs Jesus, the one who offers the love this world desperately needs. Let’s close our time in prayer and pray for those in our lives who need Jesus, and ask God to give us a newfound boldness to invite them into our lives that they might find the God who knows and loves them.

CLOSE IN PRAYER