Girl

Main Point: Our negative self-talk can be our own worst enemy, but God hears us and lifts us up.

Vital Info Before You Get Started: The following info should help you contextualize this very popular song so you can have a great discussion about it with your kids.

• IMPORTANT NOTE TO PARENTS: We at The Source for Youth Ministry believe that certain elements in our youth culture can serve as good discussion jump starters with students. At the same time, we would never hope to introduce teens to a negative influence that they haven’t already encountered. This balance is a delicate one. In our experience most teens, churched and unchurched, keep pretty current with music and music videos like this one. Thanks to YouTube, MTV.com, Spotify, and iTunes, the most popular music videos and songs are free to access only a click away. If you decide to use this, do so by catering it to fit your family’s needs.
• Texas native Maren Morris began writing and performing music when she was just 12 years old. Eight years later, she moved to Nashville to pursue her country music career.
• She began focusing on songwriting, penning songs for both Tim McGraw and Kelly Clarkson, before releasing her first major label album Hero in 2016. Her lead single, “My Church” earned her four Grammy nominations and one win in 2017.
• Morris got engaged to her boyfriend, singer-songwriter Ryan Hurd, in July 2017. The pair married in a March 2018 ceremony in Nashville, where they currently reside.
• Don’t appear as if you have a “canned” discussion in your head and rattle off questions like a teacher giving a pop quiz—your kids get enough of that in school. This is a guide, primarily—not a verbatim script. Just familiarize yourself with the content here and start a conversation in the most natural, unforced way you know how.

Introducing the Song – Say Something Like This: Morris wrote Girl as she imagined what she would say to a friend she was having conflict with, wondering why they were so competitive with each other, why were they always so awkward around each other, when they could so easily be friends? In that, she ended up realizing that she was writing it to herself, to that inner critic that tells her that she’s not enough. Morris calls the song a tough-love call to action in a sisterly way, to herself.

The Music Video: The music video can be viewed for free at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h71sBojjcaI

Song Lyrics: Girl

Man, this sh**’s unflatterin’, all up in my head again
I don’t feel myself right now, maybe I should just lay down
If vanity’s my vitamin, well, I don’t feel the difference
I don’t like myself right now, gotta find a way out 

What you feel is natural
But I don’t wanna feel this anymore
Pick yourself up off the kitchen floor
What you waitin’ for? 

Girl, won’t you stop your cryin’?
I know that you’re tryin’
Everything’s gonna be okay
Baby girl, don’t you hang your head low
Don’t you lose your halo
Everyone’s gonna be okay
Baby girl 

Draw your comparisons, tryin’ to find who’s lesser than
I don’t wanna wear your crown, there’s enough to go around 

What you feel is natural (Natural)
You don’t gotta put up with this anymore (Anymore)
Pick yourself up off the kitchen floor (Oh)
Tell me what you waitin’ for? 

Girl, won’t you stop your cryin’?
I know that you’re tryin’
Everything’s gonna be okay
Baby girl, don’t you hang your head low
Don’t you lose your halo
Everyone’s gonna be okay
Baby girl 

Girl, don’t hang your head low
Don’t lose your halo, don’t lose your halo
Girl, don’t hang your head low
Don’t lose your halo, oh 

Girl, don’t you stop your cryin’
I know that you’re tryin’
Everything’s gonna be okay
Baby girl, don’t you hang your head low
Don’t you lose your halo
Everyone’s gonna be okay
Baby girl, won’t you stop your cryin’? (Won’t you stop your crying?)
I know that you’re tryin’
Everything’s gonna be okay (Everything’s gonna be okay)
Baby girl, don’t you hang your head low
Don’t you lose your halo
Everyone’s gonna be okay (Everyone’s gonna be okay)
Baby girl 

Everyone’s gonna okay, baby
Mmm…
Hoo…

Three Questions to Ask in the Car (with thoughts to dive deeper with your kids):

Q: Do you think there is a time when swearing in a song is necessary?
A: Take this where it goes, perhaps a conversation about gratuitous language or why swearing is not always necessary.

Q: In the song she talks about hanging her head. How do you deal with life when you’re feeling down?
A: Open the door to a conversation about depression and discouragement and how they respond to that in their own life.

Q: Why do you think so many people your age are dealing with depression?
A: With my teenagers, this opened a door to a conversation about smart phones and social media use, and I believe it could open a door for you to a meaningful conversation about things that impact your child’s generation.

Where to Take It from Here: Wherever it feels natural. If these questions lead to a longer discussion on the topic, wonderful!  (There is a guide just after that paragraph that helps you do just that.)  If your kids are barely uttering grunts, don’t get discouraged – the next time it feels right, try out another song.  Keep engaging them.

For Deeper Discussion: 
(If your kids seem into diving in deeper and looking at what the Bible has to say on the subject, the following discussion guide can help take you there.)

Want help getting your teenager engaged in conversation? CLICK HERE for a helpful article from our “Parenting Help” page providing you with 3 Essentials to Talking with Today’s Teens.

Transition Statement – Say Something Like This: It is so easy it to be critical of ourselves. Sometimes we can allow our self-talk to be our own worst enemy. In the midst of those times, God has promised to do something for us that is worth discussing, so let’s take some time and do that.

Discussion Questions:

1. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: How do you feel about country music? If you can, name a country song you enjoy.
2. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: Describe a time when you didn’t feel like yourself? Share what was going on and explain what it felt like.
3. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: What do you think she means when she says “Pick yourself up off the kitchen floor?”
4. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: Explain what you think she means when she says “Don’t you lose your halo?”
5. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: Do you struggle with negative self-talk? If you’d be willing to, share something that you tell yourself that would be considered negative self-talk.
6. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: What does it mean to hang your head low? What are some ways you might struggle with “hanging your head” in your own life?
7. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: Why do you think depression is so common in your generation?

Read the following passage:

Psalm 3:1-3
Lord how many are my foes! How many rise up against me! Many are saying of me, “God will not deliver him.” But you, Lord, are a shield around me, my glory, the One who lifts my head high. I call out to the Lord, and he answers me from his holy mountain.

8. ASK ALL FAMILY MEMBERS:  Read all of Psalm 3. What do you think David (author) was going through when he wrote this Psalm?

9. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS:  What are some “foes” in your own life, meaning what are some things that you have to fight against?

10. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: Have you ever told yourself “God will not deliver me” when it comes to something you deal with? Why do you think you felt that way?

11. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: What does it mean that the Lord is a shield around you? Explain how that can impact your life if you choose to embrace that truth.

12. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: In the song she sings: “girl, don’t hang your head low.” The Psalm says that God is the one who lifts your head high. Explain what you understand that to mean and how you can remember that in your daily life.

13. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: According to these verses, what needs to happen for God to answer you? Is it easy or hard for you to call out to God?

14. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: The song says both everything and everyone is going to be okay. Is that always true? How can applying the truth of Psalm 3:1-3 give you hope when you are fighting discouragement or despair?

Wrap Up – You Say This:  One of the great things about the song Girl is how it identifies an issue that everyone faces, no matter if you are a guy or girl. The battle against the negative voices in our heads is one that we can easily lose if we don’t fight. The great thing is that God has said to us – “Hey, you don’t have to fight that on your own – I fight for you – call out to me and I will answer you!” Maybe right now you need to take a few moments with God and invite him into your own struggle. 

(Pause and give them a quiet moment to pray silently.) 

When it comes to our own negative self-talk, it’s so easy to believe the voices that say “God will not deliver them!” We live in a broken world where it’s too common to forget the truth that God desires to be a shield around us – He is here to protect us from all enemies, even those that are within. When we call on Him, He will lift our head by reminding us what is true. He will lift our head by helping us see how great He is and bringing His presence in our hardest times. Take a moment and thank God for who He is and ask Him to help you remember that He is a shield around you. Thank Him for offering protection when you need it. 

(Pause and give them a few moments to pray silently.) 

In today’s world, depression is becoming more and more common as we listen to the negative self-talk from those around us and from within. Let’s be people who turn to God in these times and remember who He is and what He offers. He is near, He protects, and He answers when we call. Let’s be people who call on him! Through it all let’s remember that though our negative self-talk can be our own worst enemy, God hears us and lifts us up.

CLOSE IN PRAYER