Main Point of Discussion: Relationships are risky, so we need to be wise and discerning when it comes to balancing boundaries and God’s command that we love others.
The Song: “Bulletproof” by La Roux
Vital Info Before You Get Started: (The following should help you contextualize this very popular song so you can have a great discussion about it with your kids.)
“Bulletproof” is a song by the English group La Roux. It hit #1 on the UK charts, peaked at #8 on the Billboard Hot 100, and as of June 2010 it has been downloaded more than 800,000 times.
The Music Video:
The song’s video can be found at the following link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kk8eJh4i8Lo
Song Lyrics:
Been there done that messed around
I’m having fun don’t put me down
I’ll never let you
sweep me off my feet
I won’t let you in again
The messages I’ve tried to send
My information’s just not going in
Burning bridges shore to shore
I’ll break away from something more
I’m not turned on to love
until it’s cheap
[repeat verse 1]
[chorus]
This time baby I’ll be bulletproof
This time baby I’ll be bulletproof
I won’t let you turn around
And tell me now I’m much too proud
To walk away from something
when it’s dead
Do do do your dirty words
Come out to play when you are heard
There’s certain things
that should be left unsaid
Tick tick tick tick on the watch
And life’s too short for me to stop
Oh baby, your time is running out
I won’t let you turn around
And tell me now I’m much too proud
All you do
is fill me up with doubt
[chorus 2x]
This time I’ll be bulletproof
This time I’ll be bulletproof
[instrumental]
[chorus 2x]
(http://www.elyrics.net/read/l/la-roux-lyrics/bulletproof-lyrics.html)
Three Simple Questions (with Answers You May Be Looking for):
Q: What’s the message of this song?
A: The way to stay “safe” in relationships is to become emotionally “bulletproof”—i.e., not letting others get too close so they can’t hurt us.
Q: How do you suppose we—as serious Christ-followers—should react to this song?
A: It’s wrong to distance ourselves from others like “Bulletproof” encourages because doing so will prevent others who may not believe in Jesus from getting to us—and maybe wanting to become Christians themselves. Plus, God created all of us for relationships; life isn’t nearly as rich without them.
Q: How can we move from healthy, Bible-based opinions about this song to actually living out those opinions?
A: Open ourselves to others; expect to get hurt sometimes; forgive those who hurt us; trust God to heal us when we get hurt; dust ourselves off and open ourselves up again—but also being aware that certain types of people consistently hurt others and should be dealt with carefully.
Where to Take It from Here:
Wherever it feels natural. If these questions lead to a longer discussion on the topic, wonderful! (There’s a guide just after this paragraph that helps you do just that.) If your kids are barely uttering grunts, don’t get discouraged—the next time it feels right, try out another song. Keep engaging them.
For Deeper Discussion:
(If your kids seem into diving in deeper and looking at what the Bible has to say on the subject, the following discussion guide can help take you there.)
Want help getting your teenager engaged in conversation? CLICK HERE for a helpful article from our “Parenting Help” page providing you with 3 Essentials to Talking with Today’s Teens.
Transitional Statement:
Let’s take a deeper look at the worldview behind “Bulletproof,” because all of us have probably wanted to protect our emotions from getting damaged—it’s no fun!
More Discussion Questions:
- ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: What would be good and bad about life if everyone was emotionally “bulletproof”?
- ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: Can you relate to how the singer feels? Why or why not?Read the following passage from the Bible:
John 2:23-25 (The Message)
During the time he was in Jerusalem, those days of the Passover Feast, many people noticed the signs he was displaying and, seeing they pointed straight to God, entrusted their lives to him. But Jesus didn’t entrust his life to them. He knew them inside and out, knew how untrustworthy they were. He didn’t need any help in seeing right through them.
- ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: Does it sound like Jesus, in this passage, was trying to be “bulletproof”? Why or why not?
- ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: Did Jesus ever put trust in and connect emotionally with anyone while he was on earth? (Parent: see Matthew 9:36 and John 13:23. Jesus often displayed deep compassion, and he had a deep and trusting relationship with his disciple, John.)
- ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: Why did Jesus choose to trust and love some and keep his distance from others?
- ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: Is it okay for Christians to be “bulletproof” with people who are motivated by hate and abuse? Why or why not?
- ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: What are some ways you could apply this discussion to your life?
Wrap Up:
Jesus took emotional risks and loved people to the point of giving his life for us, but he was also careful because he knew that human nature is fallen and often untrustworthy. Let’s take a few minutes to think through where we might be unbalanced and to pray for wisdom in this area. I want to close with a quote that will help us think about God’s calling for our lives.
Give your family members a few minutes to think through and pray for discernment in this area, then read the following quote:
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
— C.S. Lewis (The Four Loves)
Close in Prayer
Lane Palmer
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