Broken

Main Point:  God’s design for marriage involves guarding your heart and joining to one person for a lifetime.

Main Point:  We are all broken, but Jesus has died so we can be put back together again.

Vital Info Before You Get Started: The following info should help you contextualize this very popular song so you can have a great discussion about it with your kids.

• IMPORTANT NOTE TO PARENTS: We at The Source for Youth Ministry believe that certain elements in our youth culture can serve as good discussion jump starters with students. At the same time, we would never hope to introduce teens to a negative influence that they haven’t already encountered. This balance is a delicate one. In our experience most teens, churched and unchurched, keep pretty current with music and music videos like this one. Thanks to YouTube, MTV.com, Spotify, and iTunes, the most popular music videos and songs are free to access only a click away. If you decide to use this, do so by catering it to fit your family’s needs.
• The video for the lovelytheband song Brokenfeatures some scenes that may be inappropriate for certain settings. The song by itself does not contain objectionable content, but we want you to be informed as you move forward with this discussion.
• Relatively new to the music scene, lovelytheband was formed in 2016 when three musicians met at a West Hollywood nightclub. Lead singer Mitchy Collins had recently split from the indie-pop duo Oh Honeyand connect with Jordan Greenwald and Sam Price to form the new group.
• The trio released their first EP called Everything I Could Never Say… in the fall of 2017. Their success has led to their first full album Finding It Hard to Smilethat was released in August 2018. Their album release was paired with their first headlining tour in the fall of 2018.
• Don’t appear as if you have a “canned” discussion in your head and rattle off questions like a teacher giving a pop quiz—your kids get enough of that in school. This is a guide, primarily—not a verbatim script. Just familiarize yourself with the content here and start a conversation in the most natural, unforced way you know how.

Introducing the Song – Say Something Like This:  Broken is the song that put lovelytheband on the scene, charting as high as 29 on the Billboard Hot 100.  The song is about two people who meet and when discovering their own brokenness, they are able to open up to each other and share something together.  Written after his difficult split from his former band Oh Honey, Mitchy Collins says of the song, we all have our demons we fight every day…everyone is a little broken inside, trying to find their Band-aid…everyone is a little broken inside, nobody’s perfect…this song is an ode to the broken ones.

The Music Video:  The music video can be viewed for free on YouTube.

Song Lyrics:

I like that you’re broken
Broken like me
Maybe that makes me a fool
I like that you’re lonely
Lonely like me
I could be lonely with you

Three Questions to Ask in the Car (with thoughts to dive deeper with your kids):

Q: What do you think he means when he says he is broken?

A: This question probes into their understand of brokenness and opens the door to talk about spiritual brokenness and Romans 3:23, that we all have sinned and falls short of the glory of God.

Q:  When he says he wants to fix their broken pieces one at a time – do you think that’s something he will be able to do?  Why or why not?

A: Starts a discussion about their view when it comes to fixing brokenness and the value of human efforts – and opens the door to talk about Jesus offering to put us back together.

Q:  Why do you think God allowed us to choose to be broken?
A:  An interesting question to talk about God giving us the freedom to choose and how in His love He already had a way to fix things.  God could have chosen to never allow us to be broken, but then we would be forced to love Him.  He instead desired for us to see our need for Him and choose to respond to His grace.

Where to Take It from Here:  Wherever it feels natural. If these questions lead to a longer discussion on the topic, wonderful!  (There is a guide just after that paragraph that helps you do just that.) If your kids are barely uttering grunts, don’t get discouraged – the next time it feels right, try out another song. Keep engaging them.

For Deeper Discussion:
(If your kids seem into diving in deeper and looking at what the Bible has to say on the subject, the following discussion guide can help take you there.)

Want help getting your teenager engaged in conversation? CLICK HERE for a helpful article from our “Parenting Help” page providing you with 3 Essentials to Talking with Today’s Teens.

Transition Statement – Say Something Like This:  This song pointedly speaks of the brokenness each of us experience in this life.  The songwriter is desperately looking for someone as broken as he is with the hope that sharing brokenness with another might fix his broken pieces. During our discussion we will talk about brokenness and talk about a God who puts broken things back together.

Discussion Questions:

1. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: Have you ever broken something accidentally that you got in trouble for?  Let’s have a few people share any stories anyone might have.

2. ASK A FEWFAMILY MEMBERS: Do you think everyone is broken when they are born into this world? Explain why you think the way you do.

3. ASK A FEWFAMILY MEMBERS: Why do you think the writer of this song thinks he is broken?  In your opinion, what does it look like for someone to be broken?

4. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: Thinking from the songwriters perspective, what do you suppose is the appeal of finding another broken person to be with?

5. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: Why do you think the songwriter still feels he will be lonely even if he is with another person?

6. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: Looking at the lyric life is not a love song we could try – to fix our broken pieces one at a time, do you think it’s a natural response for broken people to want to be fixed?  Why or why not?

Read the following passages:

Jeremiah 17:9,14;  The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.  Who can understand it?  Heal me Lord and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise.

7. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS:  Read Jeremiah 17:5-14.  Explain what God is saying in this passage.

8. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS:  What do you see in this passage that affirms that we are born into this world broken?

9. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS:  In light of verse nine, should people “follow their heart”? Explain.

10. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS:  Does it seem from these verses and from what you know about the Bible that people can fix themselves?  Can we fix each other?  Explain why you think the way you do.

11. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS:  Looking at verse 14, why do you think Jeremiah is so confident that God can heal and save Him?  What does this tell you about Jeremiah?  What does this tell you about God?

12. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS:  How has Jesus death on the cross provided for us to be healed from our brokenness?

13. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS:  Read John 10:7-10.  According to these verses, what does Jesus offer to those who come to Him?

14. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS:  Read Revelation 21:3-5.  What is the hope we have in Jesus Christ?

Wrap Up – Say Something Like This:

The song Broken raises questions about the human condition.  Every one of us is born into this world broken because of sin, and we need God to put us back together.  No amount of actions on our part or by others can ever truly make us whole.  In this song we see a person who is trying to make the best of his brokenness by finding company in another who is like him. It’s almost as if he is hoping that by connecting with another the void in his own life will be filled.  Take a moment and think about the ways you try to fix your own brokenness, and talk to God about the ways they may not have worked for you.

(Pause and give them a quiet moment to reflect on this.)

The incredible truth of God tells us that God can heal our sickened hearts and can save us from the brokenness we find ourselves in.  Jesus tells us in John 10:10 that he wants to give us life beyond what we could ever experience on our own.  In Revelation 21 he tells us that one day He will make all things new.  Take a moment and thank God for the hope He gives us through these promises, and talk about how you can apply them to your own life.

(Pause and give them a few moments to pray silently.)

Every one of us needs Someone greater than ourselves to fix our brokenness.  Jesus Christ is the only One who can fix our brokenness and bring healing to us.  He has come to save us.  He has come to give us life and to make all things new.  Let’s be people who refuse to stay broken, but instead let’s trust God with all we have as He works in us to bring healing and restoration.  Let’s remember the truth that we are all broken, but Jesus has died so we can be put back together again.

CLOSE IN PRAYER