It’s not always easy to engage a teenager in meaningful conversation. If you’re a parent of a teen, you know exactly what I’m talking about.
“How was your day?”
“Fine.”
“How was school?”
“Same as always.”
Awkward silence.
This seems a little counter-intuitive. Teenagers are “know-it-alls” who have opinions about everything. How come it’s so hard to get them to engage in a meaningful dialogue?
Probably because we are talking to them about the wrong thing.
Think about it; what teenager wants to talk about their homework or their plans for cleaning their room? Often, when our teens are silent, we’re talking with them about the wrong stuff!
When I engage teens I utilize two simple tools: discover and provoke.
Discover:
A good lawyer or a good cop knows how to draw out testimony from a person by asking good questions. If parents put a little effort into their questioning they would be amazed at what they discover. Forget the axiomatic “how was your day?” Ask something a little more creative.
“If you could text anyone in the world and you know they’d text you back… who would you text?”
“What would you text them?”
“What would you hope they’d reply?”
That line of questioning will actually tell you a lot about your kid. Or how about:
“What is your ‘go to’ song you play whenever you’re feeling sad?”
“How does this song make you feel?”
“If this song were in a playlist, what would you call it?”
What would you discover if you asked your teens these kinds of questions?
Provoke:
Provoking teenagers probably isn’t on your to-do list today, but if you’re a parent of a teen… then you would probably give your left arm for a recipe to provoke meaningful conversations with your son or daughter.
Teenagers aren’t quiet because they don’t have anything to say. Far from it. Most teenagers will talk your ear off… if you can stir them to express themselves about something they’re passionate about. That’s why the first step of this process was discovery; we need to discover what it is that our kids want to talk about, then provoke them to talk about it.
Let’s say we discover that our daughter loves music by Katy Perry. Ask her questions about Katy’s music. Tread lightly. Don’t appear like you’re trying to collect dirt on Katy. Approach the conversation with a genuine curiosity and see where the conversation takes you. For example:
- What do you think of Katy’s new album?
- Which is your favorite song?
- She got pretty honest about her depression in her song By the Grace of God. Do you think a lot of young women can relate to her feelings?
- Can you relate to those feelings?
From Katy Perry to suicidal feelings in five questions (with a little knowledge from my recent blog post about Katy’s music).
Notice that you didn’t start by scaring them off with something like, “Have you ever felt suicidal? Because I’m thinking of having you committed!!!” Instead, you began with a subject they are interested in, and then provoked them to share their feelings about it.
If you have boys, then they probably won’t want to talk about Katy Perry. But how about these ready-made discussions about The Walking Dead?
This “provoke” methodology takes a little bit of forethought. Keep your eyes open for “conversation-provoking topics” when you read the newspaper or listen to the radio. Subscribe to free youth culture newsletters or blogs that provide you with ammo for these kinds of conversations.
You can find a gold mine of discussion starting articles at any time on the front page of TheSource4Parents.com in the box titled, OFFSITE ARTICLES JONATHAN HAS BEEN READING. I consistently link articles of interest to parents on that page, articles and studies about pop culture, teen attitudes, and trends. As I write this, if you click on that page, you’ll see:
New Selfie Pic App Funded By Bieber That Prevents Cyber Bullying
Share a couple seconds about what you read and then ask your teen their opinion. For example:
- Did you hear Justin Bieber started a new “selfie pic” app that he hopes will prevent cyber bullying?
- He doesn’t allow strangers to comment in this app, so people won’t post cruel jabs. Do you think this will work?
- Why do you think some people are so cruel in comment sections?
- So many people are so quick to criticize others, do you think there’s a way someone caring could actually make others feel good about themselves? How?
How’s that for a nice segue to Philippians, Chapter 2.
What can you do to provoke your teen to conversation today?
Jonathan McKee
Jonathan McKee is the author of over twenty books including the brand new The Guy's Guide to FOUR BATTLES Every Young Man Must Face; The Teen’s Guide to Social Media & Mobile Devices; If I Had a Parenting Do Over; and the Amazon Best Seller - The Guy's Guide to God, Girls and the Phone in Your Pocket. He speaks to parents and leaders worldwide, all while providing free resources for parents on his website TheSource4Parents.com. Jonathan, his wife Lori, and their three kids live in California.
Jeromesic
March 21, 2025 at 8:42 amdang nh?p alo789: alo789 dang nh?p – alo789in
Arthurwef
March 24, 2025 at 3:46 amhttps://mexicanpharminter.com/# buying from online mexican pharmacy
canada drugs
Jamesjiz
March 24, 2025 at 6:56 amlowest prescription prices online india: India Med Fast – IndiaMedFast.com
MonteMap
March 24, 2025 at 7:51 amorder medicines online india order medicines online india online pharmacy india
Arthurwef
March 24, 2025 at 9:11 amhttps://interpharmonline.shop/# recommended canadian pharmacies
my canadian pharmacy
WillisLutle
March 24, 2025 at 9:36 amhttp://interpharmonline.com/# canada drugs online
Jamesjiz
March 24, 2025 at 12:32 pmmexican pharmacy online order: mexican drug stores online – mexican pharmacy online
Arthurwef
March 24, 2025 at 2:44 pmhttps://interpharmonline.com/# best canadian online pharmacy
reputable canadian pharmacy
MonteMap
March 24, 2025 at 4:57 pmbuying from online mexican pharmacy mexican pharmacy online order mexican drug stores online
Georgetom
March 24, 2025 at 5:43 pmmexican pharmacy online store: Mexican Pharm Inter – reliable mexican pharmacies
Jamesjiz
March 24, 2025 at 6:10 pmcanadadrugpharmacy com: InterPharmOnline.com – canadian pharmacies comparison
Arthurwef
March 24, 2025 at 8:36 pmhttp://mexicanpharminter.com/# mexican pharmacy online
canadian pharmacy 365
WillisLutle
March 24, 2025 at 9:33 pmhttps://indiamedfast.shop/# india online pharmacy store
Jamesjiz
March 25, 2025 at 1:26 ambest canadian online pharmacy: Online pharmacy USA – buy canadian drugs
Arthurwef
March 25, 2025 at 3:13 amhttps://interpharmonline.shop/# canada pharmacy online
canadian pharmacy service
WillisLutle
March 25, 2025 at 4:13 amhttps://interpharmonline.com/# ed meds online canada
Jamesjiz
March 25, 2025 at 8:56 amIndiaMedFast: IndiaMedFast – India Med Fast
Arthurwef
March 25, 2025 at 9:48 amhttp://mexicanpharminter.com/# buying from online mexican pharmacy
canadian pharmacy
WillisLutle
March 25, 2025 at 10:55 amhttps://indiamedfast.shop/# India Med Fast
Howardslutt
March 25, 2025 at 1:48 pmpharmacy canadian: highest rated canadian online pharmacy – legal to buy prescription drugs from canada
Jamesjiz
March 25, 2025 at 4:45 pmcanadian pharmacy: InterPharmOnline.com – prescription drugs canada buy online
WillisLutle
March 25, 2025 at 5:53 pmhttp://interpharmonline.com/# online pharmacy canada
Howardslutt
March 25, 2025 at 11:17 pmreliable canadian pharmacy: highest rated canadian online pharmacy – canadian medications
Arthurwef
March 25, 2025 at 11:44 pmhttps://interpharmonline.shop/# onlinepharmaciescanada com
safe canadian pharmacy
GregoryAnter
March 26, 2025 at 2:10 amTadalafil Easy Buy: cialis without a doctor prescription – buy cialis pill
DwayneLah
March 26, 2025 at 3:41 ambuy generic 100mg viagra online Generic100mgEasy buy generic 100mg viagra online
KennethLus
March 26, 2025 at 4:57 amhttps://kamagrakopen.pro/# kamagra 100mg kopen
TerryErose
March 26, 2025 at 6:05 amhttps://tadalafileasybuy.com/# cialis without a doctor prescription
Williamben
March 26, 2025 at 7:04 amkamagra jelly kopen: kamagra pillen kopen – Kamagra Kopen Online
GregoryAnter
March 26, 2025 at 8:12 amGeneric100mgEasy: Generic 100mg Easy – buy generic 100mg viagra online
KennethLus
March 26, 2025 at 10:45 amhttps://tadalafileasybuy.com/# cialis without a doctor prescription
TerryErose
March 26, 2025 at 12:01 pmhttp://tadalafileasybuy.com/# Cheap Cialis
DwayneLah
March 26, 2025 at 1:18 pmcheapest cialis Tadalafil Easy Buy Generic Tadalafil 20mg price
GregoryAnter
March 26, 2025 at 2:11 pmcialis without a doctor prescription: Generic Tadalafil 20mg price – Tadalafil Easy Buy
Williamben
March 26, 2025 at 2:14 pmOfficiele Kamagra van Nederland: kamagra 100mg kopen – kamagra kopen nederland
KennethLus
March 26, 2025 at 4:37 pmhttps://kamagrakopen.pro/# Kamagra
TerryErose
March 26, 2025 at 5:56 pmhttp://tadalafileasybuy.com/# Tadalafil Easy Buy
GregoryAnter
March 26, 2025 at 8:30 pmViagra online price: Generic100mgEasy – Generic100mgEasy
Williamben
March 26, 2025 at 10:11 pmGeneric100mgEasy: generic sildenafil – Generic 100mg Easy
KennethLus
March 26, 2025 at 11:04 pmhttp://generic100mgeasy.com/# Generic 100mg Easy
DwayneLah
March 26, 2025 at 11:34 pmKamagra Kopen kamagra 100mg kopen Kamagra Kopen
TerryErose
March 27, 2025 at 12:36 amhttp://generic100mgeasy.com/# Generic100mgEasy
Williamben
March 27, 2025 at 3:40 amcialis without a doctor prescription: TadalafilEasyBuy.com – Tadalafil price
GregoryAnter
March 27, 2025 at 4:13 amKamagra Kopen Online: kamagra pillen kopen – kamagra pillen kopen
KennethLus
March 27, 2025 at 6:12 amhttps://generic100mgeasy.shop/# Generic100mgEasy
TerryErose
March 27, 2025 at 7:49 amhttps://generic100mgeasy.shop/# Generic 100mg Easy
DwayneLah
March 27, 2025 at 11:22 amKamagra Kopen Online kamagra kopen nederland Kamagra
GregoryAnter
March 27, 2025 at 11:48 ambuy Viagra over the counter: Generic 100mg Easy – buy generic 100mg viagra online
TerryErose
March 27, 2025 at 2:20 pmhttp://tadalafileasybuy.com/# TadalafilEasyBuy.com
Williamben
March 27, 2025 at 3:03 pmcialis without a doctor prescription: cialis for sale – cialis without a doctor prescription
GregoryAnter
March 27, 2025 at 6:59 pmTadalafil Tablet: TadalafilEasyBuy.com – TadalafilEasyBuy.com
KennethLus
March 27, 2025 at 7:20 pmhttps://tadalafileasybuy.shop/# Tadalafil Easy Buy
Williamben
March 27, 2025 at 8:20 pmOfficiele Kamagra van Nederland: Officiele Kamagra van Nederland – Officiele Kamagra van Nederland
TerryErose
March 27, 2025 at 8:44 pmhttps://kamagrakopen.pro/# Kamagra
DwayneLah
March 27, 2025 at 10:48 pmbuy generic 100mg viagra online Generic 100mg Easy Generic100mgEasy
KennethLus
March 28, 2025 at 1:46 amhttps://generic100mgeasy.com/# Generic 100mg Easy
GregoryAnter
March 28, 2025 at 2:07 amCheap Cialis: Tadalafil Easy Buy – п»їcialis generic
TerryErose
March 28, 2025 at 3:06 amhttps://tadalafileasybuy.shop/# TadalafilEasyBuy.com
KennethLus
March 28, 2025 at 8:00 amhttps://tadalafileasybuy.shop/# buy cialis pill
Williamben
March 28, 2025 at 8:58 amTadalafilEasyBuy.com: Buy Tadalafil 20mg – TadalafilEasyBuy.com
GregoryAnter
March 28, 2025 at 9:04 amTadalafil Easy Buy: cialis without a doctor prescription – Tadalafil price
TerryErose
March 28, 2025 at 9:16 amhttps://kamagrakopen.pro/# kamagra jelly kopen
DwayneLah
March 28, 2025 at 10:14 amcialis without a doctor prescription Generic Cialis price Tadalafil Easy Buy
KennethLus
March 28, 2025 at 2:06 pmhttps://generic100mgeasy.shop/# sildenafil 50 mg price
TerryErose
March 28, 2025 at 3:19 pmhttps://tadalafileasybuy.com/# Cialis without a doctor prescription
GregoryAnter
March 28, 2025 at 3:50 pmKamagra Kopen: Kamagra Kopen Online – kamagra pillen kopen
Williamben
March 28, 2025 at 4:40 pmKamagraKopen.pro: kamagra 100mg kopen – Officiele Kamagra van Nederland
KennethLus
March 28, 2025 at 8:12 pmhttps://tadalafileasybuy.com/# Cialis over the counter
Jessedib
March 28, 2025 at 10:28 pmпин ап: https://pinupkz.life/
Williampaics
March 29, 2025 at 2:54 ampinup 2025 – пинап казино
Jessedib
March 29, 2025 at 4:52 amпин ап вход: https://pinupkz.life/
Jamesmig
March 29, 2025 at 7:55 ampinup 2025 – пин ап казино
Williampaics
March 29, 2025 at 9:05 amпин ап – пин ап казино
DwayneLah
March 29, 2025 at 12:31 pmKamagra Kopen Online kamagra kopen nederland kamagra gel kopen
Williampaics
March 29, 2025 at 3:17 pmпин ап – пин ап вход
Jessedib
March 29, 2025 at 6:19 pmпин ап казино зеркало: https://pinupkz.life/
Jamesmig
March 29, 2025 at 8:49 pmпин ап вход – пин ап казино официальный сайт
Williampaics
March 29, 2025 at 9:26 pmпин ап – пин ап
Jessedib
March 30, 2025 at 12:48 amпин ап: https://pinupkz.life/
DwayneLah
March 30, 2025 at 1:24 amCialis over the counter cialis without a doctor prescription Cheap Cialis
Jamesmig
March 30, 2025 at 3:06 amпин ап казино зеркало – пин ап зеркало
Williampaics
March 30, 2025 at 3:26 ampinup 2025 – пин ап зеркало
Jessedib
March 30, 2025 at 7:37 ampinup 2025: https://pinupkz.life/
Jamesmig
March 30, 2025 at 9:40 amпин ап зеркало – пин ап
DwayneLah
March 30, 2025 at 12:48 pmkamagra jelly kopen kamagra kopen nederland kamagra gel kopen
Jessedib
March 30, 2025 at 2:36 pmпин ап зеркало: https://pinupkz.life/
Jamesmig
March 30, 2025 at 4:04 pmпинап казино – пинап казино
Williampaics
March 30, 2025 at 4:17 pmпин ап казино официальный сайт – пин ап зеркало
Jessedib
March 30, 2025 at 9:38 pmпинап казино: https://pinupkz.life/
Jamesmig
March 30, 2025 at 10:29 pmпин ап вход – пин ап зеркало
Williampaics
March 30, 2025 at 10:50 pmпин ап казино зеркало – пинап казино
DerekUnoto
March 31, 2025 at 5:15 amApoteket online: Apoteket online – apotek online recept
MichaelTwedO
March 31, 2025 at 6:35 amde online drogist kortingscode: Online apotheek Nederland met recept – online apotheek
HomerHop
March 31, 2025 at 8:37 amhttp://apotekonlinerecept.com/# Apoteket online
LouisCig
March 31, 2025 at 9:08 amhttps://apotheekmax.com/# Online apotheek Nederland met recept
Malcolmnag
March 31, 2025 at 9:33 amapotek online recept apotek online recept Apotek hemleverans idag
DerekUnoto
March 31, 2025 at 10:56 amApoteket online: Apotek hemleverans idag – apotek online recept
MichaelTwedO
March 31, 2025 at 12:40 pmapotek online: Apoteket online – Apotek hemleverans idag
LouisCig
March 31, 2025 at 2:17 pmhttp://kamagrapotenzmittel.com/# kamagra
HomerHop
March 31, 2025 at 2:39 pmhttps://apotekonlinerecept.com/# Apotek hemleverans idag
DerekUnoto
March 31, 2025 at 4:29 pmKamagra Oral Jelly: Kamagra Oral Jelly – Kamagra Gel
MichaelTwedO
March 31, 2025 at 6:38 pmApotek hemleverans idag: apotek online recept – apotek online
Malcolmnag
March 31, 2025 at 6:43 pmApoteket online Apotek hemleverans idag apotek online recept
LouisCig
March 31, 2025 at 7:14 pmhttps://kamagrapotenzmittel.shop/# Kamagra Original
HomerHop
March 31, 2025 at 9:00 pmhttps://kamagrapotenzmittel.shop/# Kamagra online bestellen
DerekUnoto
March 31, 2025 at 10:35 pmApotek hemleverans idag: apotek online – Apotek hemleverans idag
LouisCig
April 1, 2025 at 12:21 amhttps://kamagrapotenzmittel.shop/# Kamagra Original
MichaelTwedO
April 1, 2025 at 1:36 amde online drogist kortingscode: ApotheekMax – Apotheek online bestellen
HomerHop
April 1, 2025 at 4:34 amhttp://apotekonlinerecept.com/# Apotek hemleverans idag
DerekUnoto
April 1, 2025 at 5:23 amBeste online drogist: de online drogist kortingscode – Betrouwbare online apotheek zonder recept
LouisCig
April 1, 2025 at 5:42 amhttps://apotekonlinerecept.shop/# apotek pa nett
Malcolmnag
April 1, 2025 at 5:59 amOnline apotheek Nederland met recept de online drogist kortingscode online apotheek
MichaelTwedO
April 1, 2025 at 8:40 amApotheek online bestellen: ApotheekMax – online apotheek
LouisCig
April 1, 2025 at 10:56 amhttps://kamagrapotenzmittel.shop/# Kamagra kaufen ohne Rezept
HomerHop
April 1, 2025 at 12:11 pmhttp://apotheekmax.com/# Apotheek Max
DerekUnoto
April 1, 2025 at 12:16 pmApotheek Max: Online apotheek Nederland met recept – online apotheek
MichaelTwedO
April 1, 2025 at 3:43 pmKamagra Gel: Kamagra Oral Jelly – Kamagra Original
LouisCig
April 1, 2025 at 4:11 pmhttp://apotekonlinerecept.com/# Apoteket online
Malcolmnag
April 1, 2025 at 5:17 pmonline apotheek Online apotheek Nederland met recept Apotheek online bestellen
DerekUnoto
April 1, 2025 at 7:05 pmApotheekMax: Apotheek Max – Online apotheek Nederland zonder recept
HomerHop
April 1, 2025 at 7:42 pmhttps://kamagrapotenzmittel.shop/# Kamagra Original
LouisCig
April 1, 2025 at 9:14 pmhttps://kamagrapotenzmittel.com/# Kamagra Oral Jelly kaufen
MichaelTwedO
April 1, 2025 at 10:52 pmOnline apotheek Nederland met recept: Betrouwbare online apotheek zonder recept – Beste online drogist
LouisCig
April 2, 2025 at 2:25 amhttps://apotekonlinerecept.com/# apotek pa nett
Malcolmnag
April 2, 2025 at 4:32 amBeste online drogist Apotheek online bestellen Beste online drogist
MichaelTwedO
April 2, 2025 at 6:14 amKamagra Oral Jelly: Kamagra Oral Jelly – Kamagra kaufen ohne Rezept
LouisCig
April 2, 2025 at 7:46 amhttps://apotheekmax.com/# Beste online drogist
HomerHop
April 2, 2025 at 11:29 amhttps://apotheekmax.com/# Betrouwbare online apotheek zonder recept
LouisCig
April 2, 2025 at 1:11 pmhttps://kamagrapotenzmittel.shop/# Kamagra Oral Jelly
MichaelTwedO
April 2, 2025 at 1:50 pmapotek online: Apoteket online – Apotek hemleverans recept
Malcolmnag
April 2, 2025 at 4:20 pmApotheek Max Online apotheek Nederland met recept Online apotheek Nederland zonder recept
DerekUnoto
April 2, 2025 at 4:35 pmKamagra Original: Kamagra Oral Jelly kaufen – Kamagra Original
LouisCig
April 2, 2025 at 6:37 pmhttps://apotheekmax.shop/# de online drogist kortingscode
HomerHop
April 2, 2025 at 7:29 pmhttps://apotekonlinerecept.com/# apotek online
MichaelTwedO
April 2, 2025 at 9:09 pmde online drogist kortingscode: Online apotheek Nederland met recept – Apotheek Max
DerekUnoto
April 2, 2025 at 11:34 pmKamagra Original: Kamagra Gel – Kamagra Oral Jelly
LouisCig
April 3, 2025 at 12:09 amhttps://apotekonlinerecept.shop/# Apotek hemleverans idag
HomerHop
April 3, 2025 at 3:24 amhttps://kamagrapotenzmittel.com/# Kamagra kaufen
Malcolmnag
April 3, 2025 at 3:26 amde online drogist kortingscode Betrouwbare online apotheek zonder recept Betrouwbare online apotheek zonder recept
EdwinHug
April 3, 2025 at 6:43 amcanada pharmacy world: go canada pharm – canadian pharmacy store
ChesterWob
April 3, 2025 at 9:28 amcanada rx pharmacy: canadian pharmacy online – best canadian pharmacy online
Matthewexogs
April 3, 2025 at 10:40 amhttp://agbmexicopharm.com/# pharmacies in mexico that ship to usa
RobertFem
April 3, 2025 at 1:21 pmed drugs online from canada my canadian pharmacy canada ed drugs
ChesterWob
April 3, 2025 at 2:38 pmbest rated canadian pharmacy: GoCanadaPharm – canadian pharmacy checker
Trentswozy
April 3, 2025 at 5:00 pmglobal pharmacy canada: canadian pharmacies compare – canadian drug
Matthewexogs
April 3, 2025 at 5:14 pmhttps://agbmexicopharm.shop/# reputable mexican pharmacies online
EdwinHug
April 3, 2025 at 6:44 pmcanadian pharmacy online: GoCanadaPharm – canadian pharmacy 24h com
ChesterWob
April 3, 2025 at 7:40 pmAgb Mexico Pharm: Agb Mexico Pharm – п»їbest mexican online pharmacies
RobertFem
April 3, 2025 at 11:25 pmcanadian pharmacy ratings best canadian online pharmacy reviews canadian pharmacy meds review
Trentswozy
April 3, 2025 at 11:51 pmwww india pharm: www india pharm – www india pharm
Matthewexogs
April 4, 2025 at 12:01 amhttps://agbmexicopharm.shop/# Agb Mexico Pharm
ChesterWob
April 4, 2025 at 1:03 amAgb Mexico Pharm: Agb Mexico Pharm – Agb Mexico Pharm
EdwinHug
April 4, 2025 at 1:20 amcanadian pharmacy no scripts: GoCanadaPharm – my canadian pharmacy
Matthewexogs
April 4, 2025 at 7:45 amhttps://wwwindiapharm.shop/# buy medicines online in india
Trentswozy
April 4, 2025 at 8:02 ammexican drugstore online: Agb Mexico Pharm – Agb Mexico Pharm