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Am I Wrong?
A Quick Music Discussion Guide for Parents
09/04/2014

Dynamic ImageMain Point: We must be willing to ask ourselves hard questions to make sure we are correct in our convictions. It’s even more important to do so when others think we are wrong or disagree with us.

Vital Info Before You Get Started: The following info should help you contextualize this very popular song so you can have a great discussion about it with your kids.

  • IMPORTANT NOTE TO PARENTS: We at The Source for Youth Ministry believe that certain elements in our youth culture can serve as good discussion jump starters with students. At the same time, we would never hope to introduce teens to a negative influence that they haven’t already encountered. This balance is a delicate one. In our experience most teens, churched and unchurched, keep pretty current with music and music videos like this one. Thanks to YouTube, MTV.com, and iTunes, the most popular music videos and songs are free to access only a click away. If you decide to use this, do so by catering it to fit your family’s needs.

  • Am I Wrong is a Top 10 hit from the duo formerly known as Envy, now known around the world as Nico and Vinz. The two singers who comprise the group, Nico Sereba (from Ivory Coast) and Vincent Dery (from Ghana) incorporate an African flair in their music, even though they are based in Norway.

  • Am I Wrong is not only catchy, and clean, but contemplative, as well. That’s a rare feat for music these days! Essentially, the song is about the artist asking about the prospects of a relationship, but his questions fit a number of other scenarios in life.

    • Is he wrong for feeling the way he does?
      Is he wrong for thinking outside the box?
      Is he wrong just because others may disagree with him?
      Is he wrong because it’s a long shot?

  • Don’t appear as if you have a “canned” discussion in your head and rattle off questions like a teacher giving a pop quiz—your kids get enough of that in school. This is a guide, primarily—not a verbatim script. Just familiarize yourself with the content here and start a conversation in the most natural, unforced way you know how.

Introducing the Song:
You guys are probably familiar with Nico and Vinz’ song Am I Wrong? because it’s climbing the charts and growing in popularity. The song is a good one for us to analyze as a family because, like them, we must be willing to ask ourselves hard questions to make sure we are correct in our convictions. It’s even more important to do so when others think we are wrong or disagree with us. So, let’s listen to this song and then figure out which questions we should be answering.

The Music Video:
The music video can be found on YouTube at the following link:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bg1sT4ILG0w



Song’s Lyrics:

Am I wrong for thinking out the box from where I stay?
Am I wrong for saying that I choose another way?

I ain't tryna do what everybody else doing
Just cause everybody doing what they all do
If one thing I know, I'll fall but I'll grow
I'm walking down this road of mine, this road that I call home

So am I wrong
For thinking that we could be something for real?
Now am I wrong
For trying to reach the things that I can't see?

But that's just how I feel,
That's just how I feel
That's just how I feel
Trying to reach the things that I can't see

Am I tripping for having a vision?
My prediction: I'mma be on the top of the world

Walk your walk and don't look back, always do what you decide
Don't let them control your life, that's just how I feel
Fight for yours and don't let go, don't let them compare you, no
Don't worry, you're not alone, that's just how we feel

Am I wrong (am I wrong)
For thinking that we could be something for real?
(oh yeah yeah yeah oh)
Now am I wrong (am I wrong)
For trying to reach the things that I can't see?
(oh yeah yeah yeah yeah)

But that's just how I feel,
That's just how I feel
That's just how I feel
Trying to reach the things that I can't see

If you tell me I'm wrong, wrong
I don't wanna be right, right
If you tell me I'm wrong, wrong
I don't wanna be right
[2x]

Am I wrong
For thinking that we could be something for real?
Now am I wrong
For trying to reach the things that I can't see?

But that's just how I feel,
That's just how I feel
That's just how I feel
Trying to reach the things that I can't see

So am I wrong (am I wrong)
For thinking that we could be something for real?
(oh yeah yeah yeah oh)
Now am I wrong (am I wrong)
For trying to reach the things that I can't see?
(oh yeah yeah yeah yeah)

But that's just how I feel,
That's just how I feel
That's just how I feel
Trying to reach the things that I can't see


Three Simple Questions (with Answers You May Be Looking for):

Q: What was the main message in their song?
A:
Over and over again, they asked “Am I wrong?” when it came to a relationship he was involved in.

Q: The singer asked himself, “Am I wrong for thinking out the box from where I stay? Am I wrong for saying that I choose another way?” Then he went on to say it was OK for him to be different than those around him. Do you agree? Is it OK for us to be different from those around us? Is it OK for us to believe differently from those around us?
A:
In short, yes, it’s quite OK for us to be different and believe differently than those around us. We just have to make sure that we are living for truth.

Q: Asking “Am I wrong?” is a tough question to pose to yourself. But why is it important to ask yourself hard questions from time to time?
A:
If we don’t ask ourselves difficult questions occasionally, we probably won’t have certainty about what we believe, what we think, or what we should do.


Where to Take It from Here:
Wherever it feels natural. If these questions lead to a longer discussion on the topic, wonderful! (There’s a guide just after this paragraph that helps you do just that.) If your kids are barely uttering grunts, don’t get discouraged—the next time it feels right, try out another song. Keep engaging them.

For Deeper Discussion:
(If your kids seem into diving in deeper and looking at what the Bible has to say on the subject, the following discussion guide can help take you there.)


Want help getting your teenager engaged in conversation? CLICK HERE for a helpful article from our "Parenting Help" page providing you with 3 Essentials to Talking with Today's Teens.

Transitional Statement:
Life has a way of throwing doubt after doubt at us. Those doubts cloud our judgment and can cause us to question our convictions and beliefs…which is not always a bad thing. When we question our convictions, one of three things happens: we either abandon them, refine them, or bolster them. In the song we just heard, the singer was checking his convictions; was he wrong to think that he had a future with a certain individual. That’s not a small part of life. But the questions he asked himself can be applied to several other areas of life. In the end, as Christians, you and I must follow our convictions, even when others think we are wrong or disagree with us. Let’s discuss that more in our small groups.


More Discussion Questions:

  1. HAVE ALL YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS ANSWER: Has there ever been a time in life when everyone doubted you or didn’t believe in you or disagreed with you? If so, what happened?

  2. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: What do you usually do when people doubt you or disagree with you?

  3. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: What is reflection? Do you take the time to do it? Can you share some times you’ve done it?

  4. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: How does asking hard questions (like “am I wrong?”) impact what we believe or think? Is it helpful or not?

  5. Read the following passage:

      1 Corinthians 15:1-20 (NIV)

      Now, brothers, I want to remind you of the gospel I preached to you, which you received and on which you have taken your stand. 2 By this gospel you are saved, if you hold firmly to the word I preached to you. Otherwise, you have believed in vain. 3 For what I received I passed on to you as of first importance: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, 4 that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures, 5 and that he appeared to Peter, and then to the Twelve. 6 After that, he appeared to more than five hundred of the brothers at the same time, most of whom are still living, though some have fallen asleep. 7 Then he appeared to James, then to all the apostles, 8 and last of all he appeared to me also, as to one abnormally born. 9 For I am the least of the apostles and do not even deserve to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. 10 But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them-- yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me. 11 Whether, then, it was I or they, this is what we preach, and this is what you believed. 12 But if it is preached that Christ has been raised from the dead, how can some of you say that there is no resurrection of the dead? 13 If there is no resurrection of the dead, then not even Christ has been raised. 14 And if Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith. 15 More than that, we are then found to be false witnesses about God, for we have testified about God that he raised Christ from the dead. But he did not raise him if in fact the dead are not raised. 16 For if the dead are not raised, then Christ has not been raised either. 17 And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins. 18 Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ are lost. 19 If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men. 20 But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep.

  6. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: If you had to say what Paul’s main point in this passage was, what would you say he was trying to communicate? (Parents – He was trying to bolster their confidence in the Gospel of Jesus Christ, the Gospel that he had shared with them.)

  7. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: How important does Paul say that this belief is? How do you know?

  8. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: Based on this passage, does it sound like Paul asked himself some hard questions about what he believes? Why or why not?

  9. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: What are some doubts that some of you are facing right now? It can be in your personal life, the lives of your friends, or even the things you see in the news. What is it?

  10. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: What are some helpful questions you can ask yourselves as you face these doubts and turmoil? (Parents – Take a moment to list their questions on a dry erase board, or something similar. Then, take the time to talk about what each of those questions can offer them.)

  11. HAVE ALL YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS ANSWER: How do you plan to answer some of the doubts in your life this week? What will you do, immediately, to get the answers you need?

Wrap Up:
In the catchy song we listened to, Nico and Vinz kept asking “Am I wrong?” over and over again. It’s a powerful yet humble question to ask. They were asking it as it related to a relationship’s future, but the question works in so many areas of our lives. Asking that kind of question leads to answers and convictions that can shape our lives.

But it takes courage to ask big questions like “Am I wrong?” Asking tough questions isn’t for the faint of heart. If we ask these kinds of questions, we need to be prepared to discover truth. So let me warn you up front: if you ask hard questions, you will come face to face with truth…and oftentimes, that truth makes demands on your life.

For example, if you are in a relationship that is against God’s will, and you ask Him what He thinks, He will tell you. Now, you’re on the hook to obey Him. If you are not living a life of integrity when it comes to school, and you ask God what He thinks about cheating or copying or paying someone to do your homework, He will convict you of your sin. Again, you’re on the hook to follow God in obedience and change your ways.

Let’s look at one more example in life, the biggest, in fact! Let’s say that you doubt God’s existence, or His goodness, or His love, etc. If you contemplate on that doubt, ask seriously hard questions, and explore God’s Word for answers, I assure you He will speak to you and give you the confidence that He does exist, that He does love you, and that He cares for you deeply. And again, that means your life will have to change.

Asking hard questions is a very mature thing to do. Unwise people don’t ask themselves hard questions; they just selfishly assume things in life. A mark of our growth is that we are willing to be courageous because we’ve asked and answered the hard questions in life.

I want to close us in prayer right now, by asking God to help each of us answer our hard questions. It will mean that we are willing to be honest before Him, and promise to make changes that He requires. But if we’re willing to do that, I believe God is willing to speak with you.


Close in Prayer

Written by David R Smith


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