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Your Love Is My Drug
A Quick Music Discussion Guide for Parents
10/20/2010

The Song: “Your Love Is My Drug” by Ke$ha

Main Point of Discussion: The world paints a self-destructive picture of love, so we need to focus on the true definition of love given by God.

Vital Info Before You Get Started: (The following should help you contextualize this very popular song so you can have a great discussion about it with your kids.)

  • Ke$ha is a 23-year-old American recording artist and songwriter, and this song is from her debut album, Animal. “Your Love Is My Drug” (Animal’s third single) hit the top of the Billboard Pop Songs chart in early June 2010.

  • The main idea behind the song is being so in love that you stop thinking clearly and rationally, akin to what happens to someone who uses drugs.

  • When you do the discussion, don’t appear as if you have a “canned” discussion for your kids and rattle off questions like a teacher giving a pop quiz—they get enough of that in school. This is a guide, primarily—not a verbatim script. Just familiarize yourself with the content here and start a conversation in the most natural, unforced way you know how.

Lyrics:

    Maybe I need some rehab
    or maybe just need some sleep
    I got a sick obsession
    I’m seeing it in my dreams

    I’m looking down every alley
    I’m making those desperate calls
    I’m staying up all night hoping
    Hit my head against the walls

    [pre-chorus]
    What you got, boy, is hard to find
    I think about it all the time
    I’m all strung up my heart is fried
    I just can’t get you off my mind!

    [chorus]
    Because your love, your love, your love is my drug
    Your love, your love, your love
    I said your love, your love, your love is my drug
    Your love, your love, your love

    Won’t listen to any advice
    Momma’s telling me I should think twice
    But left unto my own devices, I’m addicted, it’s a crisis!

    My friends think I’ve gone crazy
    My judgment is getting kinda hazy
    My status is gonna be affected if I keep it up like a love sick crackhead

    [pre-chorus]
    [chorus]

    I don’t care what people say
    The rush is worth the price I pay
    I get so high when you’re with me
    But crash and crave you when you are away

    So I got a question;
    Do you want to have a slumber party in my basement?
    Do I make your heart beat like an 808 drum?
    Is my love your drug? (huh) Your drug? (huh)
    Your drug? (huh)
    Your drug? (huh)
    Is my love your drug?

    [chorus 2x]

    [speaking]
    heyyy, heyyy your love, your love, your love, your love
    (whispered) is my drug
    I like your beard

Three Simple Questions (with Answers You May Be Looking for):

Q: What’s the message of this song?

A: Ke$ha is obsessed with the guy she’s singing about—because the “love” he gives her is like a drug.

Q: How do you suppose we—as serious Christ-followers—should react to this song?
A: It should make us stop and think about how we view our own relationships—in fact, all the things on this earth that we hold dear. We should then remember that Scripture has a completely different view concerning how (and who) we should love. The “love chapter” in Paul’s first letter to the church in Corinth is 180 degrees away from “Your Love Is My Drug,” as is the concept of “agape” (or unconditional) love in the Bible.

Q: How can we move from healthy, Bible-based opinions about this song to actually living out those opinions?
A: We need to take an honest look at our relationships—especially the lovey-dovey ones—and make sure that we’re not elevating them above our relationships with God. If we are, we should take a step back from them, ask God to establish better attitudes in our hearts, and ask close Christian friends to hold us accountable. This process would apply not only to people in our lives, but also to every activity that may be our “drug” or obsession.


Where to Take It from Here:
Wherever it feels natural. If these questions lead to a longer discussion on the topic, wonderful! (There’s a guide just after this paragraph that helps you do just that.) If your kids are barely uttering grunts, don’t get discouraged—the next time it feels right, try out another song. Keep engaging them.



For Deeper Discussion: (If your kids seem into diving in deeper, the following discussion guide can help take you there.)

CLICK HERE if you want to look at a quick training article on small groups and drawing questions out of young people—you may find much of the information applicable as you go through this subject with your family members.

Transitional Statement:

Obviously there is a straightforward message and comparison in this song, but the more important issue is her perspective on love and relationships, and if it’s a healthy way to look at one of the key experiences we’ll ever have on earth. Let’s look at things more closely, especially what the Bible has to say about love.


More Discussion Questions:

  1. HAVE ALL YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS ANSWER: What advice would you give Ke$ha if she were your friend?


  2. HAVE ALL YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS ANSWER: What would you say to a boyfriend/girlfriend if he or she wrote this song about you?


  3. Read the following passage from the Bible:

      1 Corinthians 13:4-10 (The Message)
      Love never gives up.
      Love cares more for others than for self.
      Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
      Love doesn’t strut,
      Doesn’t have a swelled head,
      Doesn’t force itself on others,
      Isn’t always “me first,”
      Doesn’t fly off the handle,
      Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
      Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
      Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
      Puts up with anything,
      Trusts God always,
      Always looks for the best,
      Never looks back,
      But keeps going to the end. Love never dies.

  4. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: What differences are there between Ke$ha’s view of love and God’s definition?


  5. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: What are the dangers of treating love like a drug?


  6. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: What are the benefits of defining love the way God does in this passage?


  7. * Parents - it may be helpful to briefly discuss the meaning of the Greek word agape from this passage and how it defines love. In fact, agape seems to have been virtually a Christian invention—brand-new word for a brand-new thing. (Apart from about 20 references in the Greek version of the Old Testament, agape is almost non-existent before the New Testament.) Agape draws its meaning directly from the revelation of God in Christ. It’s not a form of natural affection, however intense, but a supernatural fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22). It’s based on the will rather than one’s feelings, and it’s the foundational element in Christlikeness. (http://bible.org/illustration/1-corinthians-13)


  8. ASK A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS: This passage not only describes how we should love each other, but also the way God loves us; if we focus on that truth more than seeking out a love addiction, how would our lives be different?

Transitional Statement:
When you compare the biblical definition of true love with the addictive kind described by Ke$ha, it seems clear that using love to meet an inappropriate or unhealthy need will lead to a world of heartbreak. On the other hand, if we focus on loving God and others in the same way God loves us, we’ll avoid the pitfalls and heartbreaks of unhealthy relationships and find God’s true will for our relationships. To get started on the path, let’s try a little exercise that we can use to help us change our view of love.


(Pass out paper and pens)

Wrap Up:
Ask your family members to take a few minutes to fill in the blanks with their names:

    ____________ never gives up.
    __________ cares more for others than for self.
    _________ doesn’t want what he/she doesn’t have.
    ________ doesn’t strut,
    _______ doesn’t have a swelled head,
    _________ doesn’t force himself/herself on others,
    __________ isn't about “me first,”
    _________ doesn’t fly off the handle,
    _________ doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
    _________ doesn’t revel when others grovel,
    _________ takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
    _________ puts up with anything,
    __________ trusts God always,
    __________ always looks for the best,
    __________ never looks back,
    __________ keeps going to the end.

Close in Prayer
Ask God to give everyone his perspective on love so we can live it out each day.

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